Why Do We Wait?

So why do we wait? Many of us wait to go on the big trip, get that pair of boots, start back to church, tell someone we are sorry, or make that special recipe. Take my advice on this one, don't wait. My life has changed so much in the past two years and lately I find it changing by the week, even the day. Life is not going to wait on you. It is not going to stand still until  you get it together, find the right words or have enough money. Life is so wonderfully strange with so many lessons and not enough time. Two years ago, I chose family over career because I realized time wouldn't wait until I had reached maximum retirement. My parents were aging, they needed help, and their life cycle was not predestined to fit comfortably into my life's plan. So, I put my money where my mouth was and took the pay cut for life and put my parents first. I know that there are not do overs in some facets of life and I didn't want to have regrets about this choice. So in the past two years I've found myself sitting on the front porch with my parents, going for truck rides with my Dad, discussing recipes with my Mom and sorting through a ton of memories in my childhood home. I find it sad that others don't take advantage of spending time with their parents in their last remaining years. What are they waiting for or what is more important? So why do we wait? Do we really think that we are in control? That it will all happen as we planned it? I can tell you that it doesn't. You wake up one morning and everything has suddenly changed. Your world is upside down. Your parents are old. Your child has grown up. Your hair is getting gray, your joints ache and you really wish you had taken better care of yourself. You realize you should have taken that surfing lesson in your twenties, that hiking trip, too. So why did you wait? What was more important at the time? So you turn a page and your Mom is in a nursing home, your brother is really sick, and your Dad has dementia and you think maybe I'd better not wait any longer for anything. Then you hear about a car wreck and you think maybe it is time to stop waiting for the right time because there is no right time for some things, only this time. You turn another page and your discussing bucket lists, funeral plans and where did everyone go? So why do we wait?

This Day Will Never Be Again

There are days that I think I will never write again and then there are days when a thought, then a stream of words and ideas full my mind faster than I can process what direction my thoughts and feelings want to go. Most of you know that I am spending my days with Mom and Dad. With the first "winter like" weather forecast looming, I spent the day doing a few last outside chores around their house, painting the basement door on the rental house, cleaning the fern bed out, dragging the birdseed bag to the back porch and preparing for the rainy, cold days to come. I've wrestled with my feelings about being here with Mom and Dad.  Like many things lately, I have come to the conclusion that the best thing to do in certain situations is to embrace the moments of my life. As I began to prepare Dad's evening meal, I found myself standing in front of the microwave, a fairly typical behavior for someone from my generation.  Within a few seconds, I thought what a waste of time standing here for 3 minutes waiting, so I walked to the back porch to embrace what I know will be one of the last warm fall evenings. As I gaze at the hillside behind my childhood home, I see that a few trees cling to their leaves and the sun is reflecting the glory of colors these trees present to me. I also notice that Mom was correct that the old magnolia tree, that provided the limb for our childhood rope swing, has lost most of its leaves today. They lay in a pile at the foot of the tree. The evening sun casts its last rays on the river that is coated with a layer of leaves floating along for a ride on the Cheat to a destination unknown. The bell on the microwave brought me back to my task at hand, but I begin to think of how many moments I have lost to impatiently waiting by a microwave, a toaster, a phone, really the list is endless. It also dawned on me that really we never fully appreciate that this exact day will never be again. The sun will not set on the hillside exactly as it did today on the trees, on the hillside, behind my childhood home. What might tomorrow bring, or the week to come, or the year to come? What is the likely hood that I will be standing in this house this time next year? I have had people tell me that this is a difficult affair and time, that of taking care of aging parents, but somewhere in time I decided to embrace these moments and cling to them like I do with the last warm, sunny days of fall in the mountains before the cold rains and snows of winter set in for the duration until spring thaw. We all cling to the hope of one more fall, one more winter, one more Christmas with those we love, but we actually never know, do we, what the future brings so I will embrace this fall day, the view of the hillside, and this time with my parents.

DEAR MR. COUNCILMAN

Bruce Simon Great to see another patriot in Rowlesburg. This election has me and Connie on pins and needles daily. Maybe our national nightmare of four years is almost over.  

Definition of Patriot  One who loves, supports and defends their country. 

Mr. Councilman, 
 Are you inferring that anyone voting for President Obama is not a PATRIOT? 
I can assure you that I am a Patriot, for I love, support and defend my country.


You on the other hand, do not even support or enforce the laws and ordinances of a town you were elected to support and represent. 

Maybe I am confused but does being a conservative patriot mean that you condone, (condone
To overlook, forgive, or disregard (an offense) without protest or censure.), "leeches" on the governmental system who refuse to work and pay taxes but rather choose to abuse and use any governmental or social handout they can acquire? The same "leeches" that have no regard for their neighbors, neighborhood or the beauty of the picturesque, historic village they live in. Their "past times" for years bordered on being immoral and/or illegal while being funded by their hardworking, middle class, taxpaying neighbors who were kept up all night by barking dogs and domestic violence.

You may feel that the last four years have been hell, Mr. Councilman, but my last thirty years have been hell, while "patriots" like you refused to do the job you were elected to do. So basically you are just another politician like the one you are criticizing.  Maybe you should think about getting off of facebook and do the job you were elected to do.

Writer's Block

I wanted to write a blog tonight but I kind of have writer's block. It could be because sharing myself and my life  is still a little difficult after this last battle. I started thinking about what one word would define my life. I think it would definitely be the word SURVIVAL. I don't necessarily mean that in a bad way. I think it is also rather interesting that one of my favorite "reads" is Charles Darwin's On the Origin of Species – in his Principles of Biology.   Robin came to see me today and we went to the meadow and sat on the wooden bench by the river. We started discussing survival after stumbling on the topic of a survivalist we know and his "bomb shelter". We thought we would fair much better than city folks if an apocalypse would occur. We can shoot a gun, throw a knife, shoot a bow, gather food, etc. The gathering food floated into my mind because as we wandered down the dirt, rutted road to the meadow, black walnuts covered the ground along with the fall leaves. I was taught as a child how to get to the nut meat inside of a black walnut. My father also taught me how to make a fire by friction and mushrooming. I assured Robin I would not starve. I also think I would be a gather during an apocalyptic situation. I would not want to set back and wait. I would want to be out roaming and gathering, founding what is left, using it and rebuilding. So this brings me to a quote I saw on Pinterest tonight about hitting rock bottom and using that rock to build a new foundation, and that my friend would be a good description of survival. Survival is not given its due credit at times.  We think of "just surviving" as barely getting by when it is so much more. Survival is having the skills, lessons, and strength to endure hardships, attacks, and the hungry times. How do we learn to survive, by experiencing hard times and learning what it takes to make it through battles, lean times, attacks, natural disasters, devastating loss and disappointment. These set backs and lean times also teach us to be humble and appreciate and give thanks for the good times. If you want to do your children a favor, teach them about survival, teach them skills, let them fall, teach them to get up, and most important let them know that "rock bottom" gives  a person a foundation on which to build for a new day.

The Triangle of Crysti, Debra and Margaret

So I've been censored by my son. He has requested that I do not post my political comments or view points on facebook, mainly because we do not agree on a few key items. Imagine that? Anyway, I have two friends who keep face book followers up to date on the latest happenings in the political race for President of the United States. I was just trying to give a few of my ideas when I was censored by someone I carried in my body for nine months, went through excruciating pain to bring into the world and have given my heart, mind, soul and most of my hard earned money to for 25 years, but I am not one to remind "him" what I have done for him, so I will move on. First, I really should be registered as an Independent because I vote for the person and I do vote across party tickets. Second, there are things that I agree with and disagree with from both political parties. Then there is Crysti and Margaret but back to me. OK, so I think we can all agree that Welfare has gotten out of hand, especially when it becomes generational and kids think their parents get paid at the post office, but as everything in life there are exceptions to the rule. I think it is OK for a single Mom, who has a dead beat father ex-husband, to receive help to return to college and then return to the workforce with a degree in hand and marketable skills. On to health care, I don't think it is fair for a couple to be working minimum wage jobs because that is all that is available and NOT have health care while someone "using" the system has government medical cards. I think there are many cases of disability fraud in this country. I see it everyday. I think disability was meant for people who really need it. At this point, I think the love triangle could all agree. Possibly??? So much to discuss before Justin gets on face book for the night. On to the middle class. I do not agree with the Republicans that $250,000.00 a year is middle class. I also think that the wealthy need to pay their fair share of taxes as I do which is nearer to 20% or more, not 14% like Mr, Romney said he pays.  I do believe in working and not expecting the government to support you, but sometimes life isn't fair and sometimes some people need help. Government assistance should not be a way of life for an entire life time if you are able to work and most people are. There is a difference between disabled and lazy. Some of you are lazy. I also agree, as I am sure that Margaret and Crysti do, that if you can afford cigarettes, beer, drugs, tattoos, a new I pad, I phone, I "anything" that you don't need food stamps. You might think of using that I pad or I phone to get yourself a job, and I mean a real job. face book and P interest are not real jobs. OK, I don't know how the other two feel about this and I'm going to make some folks angry with this statement. If you can't afford more than one kid, don't have more. There is something called birth control. Use it. Abortion is not birth control. Now, this will also make some folks mad but I don't think all abortions should be illegal. Would you want your daughter to be forced to have a baby if she were impregnated by a violent rapist? I wouldn't.  There are some other instances that I can also think of that might justify an abortion. Do I think the government should be paying for abortion, NO. Sorry Justin but I consider myself an environmentalist. This is not up for discussion. I'm just not all conservative or all liberal. I'm not all Democrat or all Republican. I think public schools are under funded and teachers are under paid. I think politicians should have one or at the most two terms and them teach school for a few years. I personally think we could all do better at being Americans by doing the following things.........

Take care of your health and reduce health care cost. Quit smoking, over eating, start exercising, etc.
Get a job and pay some taxes.
Support public schools by volunteering.
Create a paid job for someone, even if it is just for a day.
Keep informed and up to date about your local, state, and national government.
Hold government agencies and politicians accountable.
Hold yourself accountable.
Put education first and promote education to your children and grandchildren.
Teach your children about work not about handouts.
Vote and voice your opinion.
Be a role model for what you run your mouth about. Hopefully, you run your mouth about positive things.
Do the JFK thing "Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country."
Be a good citizen.
Teach your children about character, values and morals, then model them for them every day.
Volunteer in your community.
Save money, don't be in debt. If it is bad for the country, it is probably bad for you.
Don' t set back and expect someone else to take care of things. Do something to help. Be part of the solution not part of the problem.
Don't be afraid of making people angry by voicing your opinion. I love freedom of speech.
I LOVE AMERICA, ESPECIALLY WEST VIRGINIA AND FLORIDA!!!!!!

If You are Blessed .......................

The following are lessons taught to me from my parents and grandparents. If you are blessed to have a home, take care of it. Don't worship your home because it is a material thing but take care of it. It is your shelter and haven after a long day's work. Keep a good roof on the top and a good foundation underneath it. Repair it and paint it. Keep the inside of your house clean and orderly. You don't have to have the best or the most expensive to be comfortable but take care of what you have. Someone is working hard to provide your shelter and the things inside of it. My Dad always lectured us kids to put things away, that everything has a place and then it is easy to find when you need it. Landscape your yard to enhance it. My Mom and Grandma Felton always planted flowers for their enjoyment and those of others. My Grandma Felton would cut her flowers and make vases for Christ United Methodist church on Sundays. I was also taught that flowers were good for nature, for all those little bee, butterflies and hummingbirds. I was taught that if you are fortunate enough to have a home keep it up for you, your children and your neighbors, the next generation. My parents also insisted that we take care of things. We were made to put our bikes in the basement if it started to rain and at night. I had my first bike up into my twenties when I finally sold it in a yard sale. My parents also taught me and my brothers to take care of "land" the earth. My Dad was a scout master for years and I have felt like I was a boyscout even though I'm a girl. He preached to always live a place better than you found it. This applied to a house, a campsite, a hiking trail, the river bank or any plot of earth. My Dad hates litter. I do too. Your home, the land it is on, the world surrounding you is really only yours for a very short time, Ultimately, it is God's! It is our job to be wards for the next generation. My parents and also my grandparents felt jobs were a blessing. Remember the Great Depression. They lived it. If you wanted to eat, you worked. My Dad still feels like this today. If you don't work, you don't eat. If you didn't believe him, he got out the Bible and read you the scripture on it. So a job is a blessing. Get up, go to work. Do what you have to do to get an education and get a job. It was more than understood that a government handout was not an acceptable way of life in our family. Thank God for your job every night even if you hate it. Remember the Great Depression. My parents and grandparents also taught all their children and grandchildren a love for nature. There was always a bird feeder in the yard, binoculars to watch the birds, deer and other wildlife that lived in the river and hillsides around Rowlesburg. My Dad, in later years, quit hunting. He told me that he would rather watch and photograph the deer. Our family spent hours on the Meadow, and now the third generation walks, hikes, and hunts Bell Hill. Take care of the earth. Your land, really isn't yours. It has been there for thousands of years and hopefully will continue to be. Feel blessed you get to share the great outdoors and wonder in its beauty, even the snow. Child are a blessing. Take care of them, work to support them, provide them with clean and adequate shelter. Make time for them, watch them, educate them. Teach them what is important and be willing to sacrifice for them. Be a positive role model for them. Friends and family are a blessing. Nurture these relationships. Be a good friend, a considerate neighbor, a loving family member, a loving parent and a productive member of society. Freedoms are a blessing, Vote. You are blessed. Thank God daily and show your appreciation.

You've Got A Friend

Most of you know that my life has been hell for close to two years but one discovery I did make during this time is how much I love and missed writing. I had to give it all up, the facebook, the blog, chatting and talking on the phone. The only outlet I had was e-mailing my shrink, Dr, Nickell who basically told me that my life sucked and "No, everyone doesn't have a life like yours." I'm not sure if  that was suppose to make me feel better or worse. I definitely wouldn't advise anyone to try my life. My new neighbor in Ormond said to me today while I was once again pretending I was Marilyn Monroe in Mary's pool, "you find out who your true friends are don't you." Yes, Cassie, I know Marilyn Monroe is dead. You told me that yesterday, but I play the part so well that I can't resist. Anyway, you do find out who your true friends are and you find out who "in boxed" their facebook friends and "celebrated" your great misfortune and pain. So why do people do that? What is even more frustrating is some of those people post scripture on facebook everyday and talk incessantly about praying for everyone. Thus my facebook post (which offended some people) about "fake" Christians and then some other people totally didn't get that post and I offended them. First and foremost, if you don't like sarcasm, STOP READING NOW. I'm sorry I can't help myself. This stuff just flows out of my mind and mouth. Therapy doesn't help because my shrink is sarcastic. I had 30 years of teaching to practice lecturing people and fine tuning my sarcasm. So back to my original thought and observation. Why do people like my negative posts, lectures, sarcasm, complaining and whining better than say the positive. lighter, nicer, friendly posts? I think it is because they are REAL. Life sucks sometimes. In my case, it has sucked a lot lately. I mean when your shrink tells you that your life sucks, it sucks. It got so bad he started telling me to try and just get through a day. During therapy one day, I asked him if it could can any worse. He looked and me and said, "Yes". He was right. It did. The good thing is, I survived, Rob survived, and Justin and Cassie survived. Things have changed for all of us but life goes on. During this time, many of my friends also had battles to fight, lost people they loved, and experienced things they would have rather not but life is like that. There were days I couldn't drag myself out of bed. Days Julie thought she needed to be on suicide watch. Phone calls from Mary to make sure "everything was OK". I had friends like Janice and Flicky who sat up with me on nights and talked and listened. Barb, who constantly prayed for me and with me. Margaret called and would make me laugh. Robin and Jane came for visits. Lisa stuck by me. Susan helped out. Nesha, who distracted me with her "neediness" was always there. So you do find out who your real friends are when something like this happens. They don't judge, they don't try to give advice. They listen, they check to see if you are breathing, they hold your hand in church and pray with you. True friends are like the song says "just call out my name and I'll be there." So if you need something to think about tonight. Think about friendship. What kind of friend are you? A true friend? An "in box" your other "friends" to celebrate another "friend's" demise. Life can be brutal. If you are going to call yourself a friend to another, don't use the term loosely. Be ready to stay up all night, go on suicide watch, and pray like there is no tomorrow.