New Years Resolutions

The idea is good but the execution is poor. I always have the best intentions every January 1st of executing some wonderful list of self improvements. The plan usually last until I get out of bed. So this year I am using reverse psychologically and making non resolutions to see if that works any better. I resolve or not resolve to: loose weight, exercise, keep my opinions to myself, be nice to David, not complain to Rob, eat less candy, take less naps, spend less time on social networking, drink less pop, eat less M&M's, clean up the kitchen every night, stay out of candy aisles, sound like I care, pay attention to people when they are saying stupid things, generally pay attention, learn to use my phone, learn to use my computer better, take exercising more serious, be less sarcastic, be grateful for having brothers, pay attention to Rob when he opens his mouth, eat less mashed potatoes, be nice to Chris on facebook, quit making schedules, stop telling Justin that Midnight is his brother, stop referring to myself as the Queen, treating others like they are my servants, talking to Midnight like he cares, obsessing about holiday decorations, trying to find the perfect beach chair, adding chocolate to everything, and making lists. I think this is going to be a very good year.  The pressure is off and all I really have to do is just get up and keep doing what I've been doing for the last 50 years and I should feel pretty good about myself. Now, where is my tiara?

Retirement is Kind of Like Not Working

Retirement is kind of like not working. Wait, you don't work when you retire. Some how I've convinced myself that I do work but I just have an easy job and I set my own hours. Everyone told me that I would hate retirement. My shrink thought I'd be bored or feel worthless. He never has really accepted my role and obligations as a queen. I also think he thinks I have issues with reality. Enough about him. I really like retirement. I like setting my own hours with no schedule. I did try a schedule but it only lasted one day because I took a nap and got off schedule. I like the freedom to socialize and not feel like I should be home cleaning, doing laundry or grading papers. I like walking on the beach having the feeling I'm on an endless vacation. I like having leisurely meals, going out for lunch, eating meals in my Tinker Bell PJ's, and watching TV while eating breakfast. I find doing nothing productive. I like hanging out with Nesha and Nicole and looking at the latest things at their Boutique. I like staying up late, sleeping late, and leaving things until tomorrow. There are days that it is noon until I realize I haven't brushed my hair. I try to have it together before Rob gets home from work but if I don't I just tell him that I just got up from a nap. I love hanging out with Julie and Mary in Florida. I like hanging out in bed in the morning thinking about nothing or about the color aqua.  I have no idea why I am obsessed with the color aqua these days but when you are retired you have the time to think about all kind of useless things like having an aqua laundry room and new recipes on Pinterest. I try every couple of days to do the hair and make up thing. I also volunteer at church and try to learn something new each day. I make lots of plans for things like what bathing suit I should wear to the beach, what book to take and what kind of snacks would taste could for the day. I'm happy for people who love to work.  I'm just glad it is not me anymore. I think part of it is I just don't have the patience anymore for following orders, having a schedule, listening to anyone or even pretending to. I love my flip flops and very casual dress. I love not packing a lunch and trying to eat it in fifteen minutes. I love not going out early if it is rainy. I love not going out early at all. I like not having to say good morning because many days it is noon before I venture out. I think I'm actually pretty good at retirement considering that I never had any formal training, an in service or attended a conference on it. I don't even need an administrator telling me how to do it. I just get up or even some days not get up and do it. Funny thing how doing nothing kind of grows on you after years of working.

Reflections and Thoughts

• It is that time of the year to reflect. Although reflection can be very difficult at times, especially during a time period like this past year that seemed to begin with so much loss, hurt and frustration, reflection and acceptance is necessary to move on to a new positive place. I would like to take credit for much of my advice but I can't. I have gained my knowledge for years from family members, friends, teachers, people I meet everyday and God.  I also have gotten a lot of advice from my psychiatrist, Dr. Nickell, who pushes me to reflect, think, and help myself. I also look to others to ground me and give me inspiration. My cousin. Pam has been a great inspiration to me this year.  She lost her youngest son tragically in February but continues her great devotion to God, her family and friends. There have been times in this past year that I have become very dishearten with mankind and frustrated with how things seem to be playing out in life. I would stop and tell myself', "If Pam can get up and face another day, so can you." I have a great deal of contact through my blog and facebook with former students. I want all of them to be prepared that life is not always easy, make that most of the time, and bad things can and will happen. In marriage, there is a reason for that part about "for better and worse", "richer and poorer".  You will experience it all. Life is a journey. It isn't a competition and when you get to my age you realize stuff is just that, stuff.  You aren't always going to be young and that middle age thing sneaks up on you before you know it, so appreciate your knees, hips, and flexibility now. Start taking care of yourself now. You will be glad when you are fifty that you did. Remember to focus on your body, mind and soul.  Consider worshiping God in whatever religion you choose. Be a good person. Help someone everyday less fortunate than you. Don't waste money on designer anything. Be your own designer. Step up to the plate on your responsibilities. Raise your kids with tough love. Don't give them everything they want. Read to your children, help them with homework. Get off your computer once in awhile and read a real book.  Don't use profanity on facebook. Pretend like you are seating in my class at school. Be intelligent because you are. Shop at a thrift store or Goodwill once in awhile because you are helping someone else. Save money, pay off your charge card each month. Live beneath your means if you ever want to have money when that chance for your dream comes along. Take your kids on educational trips and vacations. Your kids will grow up quickly and you don't get a second chance to raise them so try and do it right the first time. Plant a garden or flowers. Have traditions. Send cards. Be a good and faithful spouse. Enjoy the arts. Share your talents. Walk in the rain. Play in the snow. Swim in the ocean. Fish in the river. Hike in the woods. Lay on the ground and look at the stars, Count your blessings. Say thank you and please. Be grateful. Call your parents. Visit your grandparents. Stay in touch with your old teachers. Give to charities. Volunteer. Adopt a pet from an animal shelter and take  good care of it. Donate to food banks. Help at your child's school in someway. Don't lie. Remember to learn from your mistakes and reflect and take joy in what you do that is right. And always remember, you don't know where you might run into Mrs. Morell.

Thank God Joesph Was Not a Dead Beat Dad

The following is a comment on a post that one of my face book friends posted earlier this week. My comments will appear after this initial post.

“Friends” Face book Post Sets Me Off!

A couple of days ago I woke up to read this on my news feed page.

“To a very special dead beat dad....I don't know how you can live with yourself and lay your head to rest every night! May karma come back and eat you alive!”

"At first I was confused as to whom she was talking about, then I was elated to realize that someone else in this world has the guts to call out dead beat Dads! That someone besides me knows how it feels to watch the ones you love get treated like they do not exist or matter in this world by worthless men
I  know the person who wrote that post. She was a childhood friend of my daughter's.  I really liked her. I would invite her to all sorts of activities with us, Sandcastle, Seneca Rocks, birthday parties, everything. If you look through our photo albums, she is there, a lot. Her mother did something no parent has ever done to me, and I have never forgotten it. When our girls were young, her mother called me in the evening. I thought, oh great, now what have I done? Instead her Mom was calling to make sure that her daughter was treating my daughter nicely in school. She heard the girls seats got moved in class and if her daughter was being a bully she wanted to know right then."

"Needless to say, she grew up understanding RESPONSIBILITY and CONSEQUENCES! And as an adult, I have to assume, her tolerance for “dead beat Dads” is fairly low!"

"My tolerance for “dead beat Dads” is, well, extremely low also.  Who the hell are these guys???
Who are you, as a person, if you have to have a judge order you to support your son???
Who are you when your son grows day by day without a father????
Who are you when you allow another person to give up 100% of THEIR life to care for
YOUR child???
Who are you when you are not mature enough to understand responsibility and consequences and that they APPLY TO YOU!
Who are you?"

!!!OK MY TURN!!!!  I don't like dead beat parents of either sex and they come from both sexes. First, this may seem harsh but USE BIRTH CONTROL IF YOU DON'T WANT A BABY !!!!!!  Don't assume the other person is using birth control. Two, if you are not financially, emotionally mentally and physically mature you should probably not be having sex and especially unprotected sexual contact. Three, if you didn't follow the above advice guess what the consequences are yours, BOTH OF YOURS!!! Last time I checked it took two to make a baby. Four, the baby is innocent and love able and needs love from their parents.  Now on to consequences and responsibility.  All I can say on this one is GROW UP AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY !!!!!! 

JUST WAIT THERE IS STILL MORE!!!  Let's look at this from a religious stand point since I know a few dead beat parents that think they are Christians. Do you remember that couple Mary and Joesph? Where would we be if Joesph had said "No way that baby is not mine and even if it is I'm don't want anything to do with it or you Mary." Just a thought for the holiday season.  Thank God, literally, that Joesph was not a dead beat Dad. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR CHILDREN AND CARE FOR THEM AS IF THEY WERE THE NEXT SAVIOR OF THE WORLD.  YOU JUST NEVER KNOW!!

Christmas is a State of MInd

Many wonder how I can get into the Christmas spirit in Florida.   I find it easy. Actually, Rob is finding it more difficult than I am. I don't need cold weather or snow. Bethlehem has a Mediterranean climate. You would have been more likely to see a palm tree than a pine tree near the manger. I have found the older I get that the Christmas spirit has nothing to do with the weather or shopping and more of a state of mind, a feeling in the heart, and desire to give and be with friends and family. I've started doing the usual holiday activities with the passing of Thanksgiving. I've worked on Christmas cards, holiday baking, decorating, and shopping this past week. I met with a lady at a local church to try and get involved in working at a soup kitchen, lunch program for local high school kids and various other programs at the church. I've been diving into spiritual readings more and trying to work on spirit along with my mind and body.  I find myself liking to do and experience things rather than "get" more "things".
Mary and I went to church today at the First United Methodist Church of Ormond Beach. It is huge compared to my hometown Christ United Methodist Church but everyone was very friendly and welcoming. We went to the Contemporary Service which is earlier and includes big screens, guitars, drums, music videos, a hand bell choir, vocalists etc. in the worship service. I found the music video today excellent which talked about not finding Jesus at the mall. Interesting isn't it how much time we spend at stores during a religious season. In the song/video a boy asks "Where is the line for Jesus as opposed to where is the line for Santa Claus?"  The minister also mention the lack of manger scenes and the popularity of everything from lighted deer to multiple inflatables in peoples front yards for the Christmas season. So I started thinking what do our actions, homes, choices say about us during the Christmas season? Where do we spend most of our time? What do we spend our time doing? What do our actions say about us?  What do our words say? Have we helped anyone lately?  Have we offered words of encouragement? Is there something I can give up to help someone else this holiday season? When was the last time I dropped food off at the food pantry, visited a shut in or a lonely senior citizen, adopted an angel off an angel tree, donated to a worthy cause, bought something for an animal shelter. How many times have I been seen at the mall as opposed to being seen at church or perhaps a soup kitchen or homeless shelter?
This music video made me think so I am sharing it with you

Becky Kelley - Where's the Line to See Jesus - OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO

www.youtube.com

Brad, Brad,Brad

So Brad is still mad about the Cabana Boy blog and the supposedly poor light that I reflected upon him in the blog. He has been actively working to improve his image in my eyes since that blog was written, but last night bordered on pathetic. Mary (Brad's wife) invited us over to watch the WVU game.  I wore blue jeans, a yellow shirt, my WVU flip flop slippers ( a gift from a former student), a fringed WVU scarf (another gift from a student), and blue finger nails. I must also mention that Mary has a really bad cold but managed to make a very nice dinner and great nut roll cookies. Brad, well Brad is Brad. He didn't do much of anything but try to impress me so he could get in my blog. When I came in he complimented me on my hair. What's with that? I mean it was brushed but other than that, really no change. Next he let me set in the best chair in the room, black reclining leather with a comfy footstool to match. I call it the Queen's chair when I'm in it. When Brad is in it, no one really cares. Once in the chair, Brad gets a blanket and covers me up and wants to know if I need a foot rub.  Really Brad,  PATHETIC!!!  So once feed and settled into the Queen's chair, we started watching game. Brad doesn't shut up the entire game. Neither does his friend. I was really surprised Brad had a friend but found out the guy really isn't a friend just someone who came to golf with Brad. Brad thinks he is this great golfer but Mary said she had never witnessed it. So the "non friend" and Brad are suppose to have this "men's weekend" away to go to a golf tournament.  The course is only 20 miles away so I'm not to sure what this is all about. I'm also not sure if they are riding bikes there or driving.  Anyway, Brad thinks Mary and I are going to dress up in cheer leading uniforms and come and cheer for them at the golf tournament.  Like that will ever happen. Brad must be good at something. I like Mary have just never witnessed it. He did finally make the blog so he at least has that to put on his resume, and by the way Brad don't forget to borrow those wings for me that you wore last year to the party. Could you re glitter them before you give them to me and bring me some more of Mary's cookies when you come.

Day Five ..... Christmas Cards and Victoria's Secret

I still like sending Christmas cards.  I know with Facebook and the Internet some may consider it old fashion, but I don't care.  The past couple of days I have been addressing, sealing and mailing our cards. I think Christmas cards are pretty. I like reading the verses. I like receiving Christmas cards, also.  I always enjoyed picking up the mail, after a long day at work, going home and opening the cards that came that day in the mail. Well, last night I didn't get any Christmas cards done because of many things but this is pretty much how my life goes. Rob and I had dinner. Turkey wraps and sweet potato fries, in case any one was wondering.  I thought I would start doing cards after dinner but Rob starting obsessing about  whether NCIS was on so we start looking at the guide on TV to see what was going on.  There it was Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.  On of my favorite Christmas shows and it is always a tradition of mine to watch.  So, we, rather I,  penciled that in for 8"o'clock.  Rob was told he had to watch or go upstairs.  He decided to watch because NCIS was following Rudolph..  It was a rerun but it took Rob half the show to figure that out. Well, surprise, surprise guess what followed NCIS, Vitoria's Secret Fashion Show?  All this show does is make me feel guilty about my underwear.  OK, well maybe my body, too, but the underwear is probably something I could do something about.  I don't think my body will be looking like those bodies anytime soon.  Well, probably not in this life time or the next. I mean they didn't just have nice underwear.  They had flowing trains, wings, accessories, spike heels and everything matched.  So this morning I have one more thing to feel inadequate about while addressing more Christmas cards. While watching the fashion show I actually toyed with the idea of going to Victoria's Secret and maybe picking up a number or two but this morning that seems kind of stupid.  Funny how you can get caught up in the moment.  I knew everything would be OK today with the closing act of the fashion show last night when all the models strutted out and Lady GaGa's song played "Born This Way", because baby I was born this way and Lady Deb Deb's butt does not fit in Victoria's Secret.  The wings, now that is a maybe.

Day Four: The Gift of My Own Experiences ....... Shared

Sometimes the best you can give others during the holidays, or any other time of the year, is the gift of your experiences in life. So, I thought it appropriate to share one of mine in hopes that it may help someone else.  In my early 20's, I started having extreme anxiety and panic attacks.  Actually, the anxiety started before this but I just assumed everyone worried like I did.  During this time, I ended up seeing a young resident at WVU who more or less diagnosed anxiety. It would be nice if this were then end of the story but it isn't.  There is a gene in our family called the "worry" gene passed down from generation to generation. Not until the last few years has this gene been professionally diagnosed for any of us. The genetic gene defect is basically a chemical imbalance in the brain that is clinically diagnosed as Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD).  If you really want to understand what GAD is all about,  the best thing that you can do is research it on the Internet. Basically, we worry, we worry a lot, about everything and everyone, all day long and all night long. Now, I want to get to the point as to why I am sharing this information.  One, my guess is there is probably someone else out there not diagnosed and suffering,  just as I was for years. Two, society is still reluctant to talk about mental health so I feel the need to speak up.  No surprise there.  Am I right?  Our society has learned to accept and talk about many aspects of health care whether it be cancer, diabetes, heart disease, obesity or lung disease, yet we still have problems facing the fact that there could be abnormalities with our brain. The most complex and complicated organ of the body we tend to want to ignore and neglect for fear that someone may judge us.  OK, so back to my story.  I suffered for years with extreme anxiety, sleepless nights, worry, and fears.  Anxiety can then lead to depression, physical symptoms due to prolonged stress, and other issues. Not only is this difficult for the person suffering from GAD but also those family and friends that are apart of the person's life.  Not that anyone ever found me difficult to live with or deal with. Over the years, I tried to figure myself out.  I read self help books and tried everything I knew to de stress. Some good and some definately not so good.  Anyway, one day at school, while trying to understand and help a very difficult student, it dawned on me that maybe I should think about helping myself. The first big step, as we all now, is admitting that there could be something wrong. The second step is deciding what you are going to do about it. Well, I had been working with my family practitioner for years on some of my problems and things just didn't seem to be jelling, and of course this could be no fault of mine.  Anyway, I decided to go back to the beginning and start over. With the help of my family doctor and a referral, I found my old psychiatrist from WVU, that I had seen 25 years earlier.  Yes, I did say 25 years earlier, so who is counting?  Old dogs can learn new tricks. I thought maybe we missed something the first time, maybe there had been some medical advances in the past 25 years and maybe I was finally mature enough and honest enough with myself to deal with these issues now.  The above seem to all be true as time passed.  25 years later, my psychiatrist is now the Chairman of the Psychiatry Dept. at Allegheny Hospital in Pittsburgh and is no longer taking new patients.  Now, why would that stop me?  I'm not a new patient.  There is just a slight gap in appointments here.  OK, so for some reason he gave me a break. I want to think he remembered how charming I was, probably not, but sounds good anyway.  Over three years ago, Rob drove me to Pittsburgh to see Dr. Nickell looked at him and said "Here she is, it is your turn."  The last few years in therapy and trying to get my "meds" adjusted have not been easy, but it has so been worth it.  Prozac wasn't around for me the first time.  It is now. Years of suffering make one a little more open to therapy, stress management techniques and behavioral management plans. This diagnoses was not easy on some family members, who still have issues with psychiatry.  That is their problem not mine.  I after a couple of years have become very open about this because I don't want others to suffer or feel ashamed or neglect getting help for any kind of mental or emotional problems.  My friends have been very supportive and a few have gone to Pittsburgh with me to my appointments.  People who have known me for years like me in therapy and medicated and Rob really does.  I will do anything to make Rob happy.  OK, so that might not be entirely true but it sounds good.  I felt I owed it to Justin, my nieces, nephews and any future descendants to come clean about this because it is genetic and that gene probably is not going any where for now.  My brain also  developed a defense mechanism over the years to fight and protect me from the extreme anxiety.  It is called depersonalization disorder. Another thing I feared sharing, even with my doctors, but have come to accept and deal with in my life.  Today, I ran off the application to join the Mental Health Association of East Central Florida.  One of my goals for retirement is to becoming actively involved in mental health education and advocacy.  So this is my gift of experience for today.  Crazy is OK.  I've worked, raised a wonderful son, and been intelligent enough to know that we all need a little help from time to time.  I hope if you or someone you know is suffering, you will get help, and you will realize with time that crazy is OK.  To Dr. Nickell I am forever grateful.

Day Three of My Holiday Advice: Give to Those Less Fortunate

I was already to write my blog tonight on Christmas cookies, but I can't now. Why, because I would feel too guilty and rightfully so. Rob and I were working on Christmas cards, watching football when 60 Minutes came on TV, a little late because of the game but still on right after the game. The preview of the segments caught my attention when they mentioned the homeless children of central Florida. One reason it, of course, caught my attention is because that is where I am hanging out for the winter months.  The other reason is because even though I know there is a major housing and building crash here, we live in an area where we are surrounded by multimillion dollar homes lining the banks of the Halifax River and the beach of the Atlantic Ocean from Flagler to Daytona. Unknown to me, the county bordering us, Seminole County, has an extremely high rate of homeless children living in poverty. Many of their parents lost their jobs because of the housing crash. These are children that are casualties of the lingering recession in our country.  They wash their faces and brush their teeth for school in the morning in gas station restrooms, eat cold food out of cans, and sleep in vehicles in parking lots at night. So what does this have to do with the Christmas season?  Everything. Remember the story about no room in the Inn.  For these children, there is no Inn. So what can we do?  Give!  Do with out one dessert, one gift, one extra meal out, one bag of candy, one more Christmas sweater and donate to a homeless shelter, food pantry, a food kitchen, drop off some school supplies at a school that could be given to students who probably need them, take a food basket to a family,  give to a toy drive, or buy something at a thrift store that supports the homeless. Most of us have more than enough and definitely enough to give to someone else.

Day Two of More Holiday Advice: Christmas is not a contest

Christmas is not a contest so don't worry about seeing how much money you can spend. I wanted a few decorations for the beach house but as Rob keeps saying, "Remember we don't have a lot of storage space." He use to say that in Rowlesburg and I just went and rented the largest storage unit I could find. Back to my advice. I decided to get cheap, but cute, easy to store decorations.  I found a wreath at Dollar General for 25% off. It was less than $5.00. I added to it a $1.00 3-D snowflake that I found at Target.  The Secret Attic (a church affiliated thrift store) was having a 50% off sale today and I found a cute set of snow flake stuffed bears with cute outfits for $2.50.  I purchased small white lights at Dollar General, also on sale, for less than $5 dollars. I hope you are starting to get the point. Don't stress on how much other people are spending on Christmas, instead make it a game to see how little you can spend and still have a great holiday. Another way to enjoy the holidays with the family is to start traditions with the family that are relatively cheap like decorating the tree together. When you first set up a house hold remember you can get tree trimming items really cheap after Christmas.  That is what Rob and I did and we still use some of these things. I think it is important to remember those lean years. Make some hot chocolate and set out a tray of cookies and make decorating the tree a family affair. Our tree in Rowlesburg is full of ornaments former students have made or given us. The beach tree is full of beach ornaments that we have collected from different beach vacations or beach ornaments given to us by friends and family members.  Ornaments always bring back memories for me. Rob and I started Justin an ornament collection. He has it now and it helps the young person starting their own holiday traditions to have a few ornaments to start with for their tree. I also have homemade ornaments on both trees. Julie and Karma made ornaments from seashells and glitter last year. I have one of those on my beach tree.  I have ornaments that I made in school on my Rowlesburg tree. Christmas is not a contest.  It is a celebration of life, so do what makes you happy during the holidays. Tomorrow I will make Rob drag the tree and ornaments out of the closet and I'll make hot chocolate and a dessert and we will decorate the tree together. I talked to Justin tonight he and Cassie are putting up lights tomorrow and so they begin their traditions. I told him not to buy any lights because there are two new boxes in our garage that Flicky gave us that she got at a summer yard sale. I want Justin and Cassie to have their own traditions but I want them to also know that Christmas is not a contest or about how much money you can spend.  It is about celebrating a new life, love and surrounding yourself with friends and family. Save your money and give of yourself this season.

White Friday

I always do things a little different from everyone else. So I changed the name of today to White Friday.  I understand the term "Black Friday".   It is the day that the retail world hopefully puts their businesses in the black but I just have never liked the term,  Black Friday. It just sounds a little evil to me.  I had Rob buy the newspaper on Thanksgiving morning and looked through all the ads.  I even played with the idea of going out shopping but I didn't. I don't like big pushy crowds.  I hate standing in lines and I hate being out shopping when I'm already tired.  I stayed home to watch the Lady GaGa Thanksgiving special and then I just couldn't get myself motivated to go.  I could have gone this morning but that would have entailed getting out of my Tinker Bell pj's before 2 PM and that didn't happen. I had pumpkin pie for breakfast and it was all down hill after that.  I think I took a nap, watched some TV,  ate some turkey, and then took a nap with Rob.  We finally left the house at around three for a walk at the beach. We made a quick stop at a couple of places and came home. We actually were going to go to Walmart but Mary called and said that there was an antique car parade in Ormond so we turned around and came back across the bridge.  Rob wasn't to thrilled about going to the parade because he had to miss the first few minutes of the Pitt/WVU game but I assured him that it would be fine. I actually didn't know it would be fine but I wanted to go to the parade so I just said that.  He named the make, model and year of every car that went by so I think he actually enjoyed the parade. There was a Nova and a 280 Z in the parade. That was kind of neat.  Rob got me four sets of beads off the street that were thrown out during the parade. I really didn't get the bead thing at an antique/Christmas car parade, but who am I to turn down cheap jewelry? Rob has been complaining that he doesn't have the holiday spirit because we are in Florida and it is warm and green. For some strange reason I got it during the parade and even more so after WVU beat Pitt.  I never get the Christmas spirit during Black Friday shopping because it is all so commercial. I realize that people are trying to get good deals and the economy is bad but I just think it puts the wrong emphasis on the holidays right at the very beginning. I'm going to focus the next month of my blog on free or relatively inexpensive ideas for Christmas and the other winter holidays. The build up to Christmas was always more exciting to me than the actual holiday. I also want to focus more on giving this month and by giving I don't mean expensive gifts. I think we all need to think about religion more and shopping less this time of year. The news tonight is giving tips on how to reduce stress during the holidays so I will also try to reduce your stress during the next month. Julie and I were talking the other day about our obsessive/over the top "Get Ready for Christmas" organizational calendars. Mine was ridiculous but Julie's was a little suicidal. I don't do mine any more. I just kind of go with the flow. I kicked off the holiday season with Lady GaGa's Thanksgiving special and a parade tonight. Tomorrow, I think I will dance to some of her songs. Great exercise, which was one of the stress reducing tips on TV tonight. Get exercise during the holidays. Maybe everyone needs to stop for 10 or 20 minutes tomorrow and just dance. I'm serious, just dance.  My shrink advises everyone to give up on that fantasy of a Norman Rockwell Christmas.  Great idea, because we all know that our families don't come close to resembling a Norman Rockwell photo.  So, I am going to try and help everyone out for the next month with some ideas for the holidays.  My first one is cheap and easy fudge that I made tonight.  The recipe follows:

Cheap and Easy (Kind of Like Me) Fudge

1 12oz package peanut butter chips (2 cups)
1 can vanilla frosting (DO NOT USE WHIPPED)
nuts, if desired

1. Line 8 or 9-inch square pan with foil, extending foil over edges. Place chips in medium microwave-safe bowl. Microwave on HIGH for 90 seconds. stir until smooth.
2 . Add can of frosting to melted chip mixture. Mix well. Microwave 90 seconds, Mix well. Add nuts. Spread in foil-lined pan. Refrigerate 1 hour or until firm.
3 . Remove fudge from pan by lifting foil. Remove foil; cut into squares.

Experiment a bit and have fun, use chocolate chips with chocolate frosting, butterscotch chips with vanilla frosting, peanut butter chips with chocolate frosting,
Mint chocolate chips/chocolate frosting, Peppermint Crunch chips with vanilla frosting. I have even made lemon fudge! White chips with lemon frosting..tastes like lemon drops. White chips with Strawberry frosting. Cherry chips with chocolate frosting. Coconut-Pecan frosting with dark chocolate chips. Try using Cream Cheese frosting.
Use your imagination. Any chips with any frosting!!
You may add 1/2-1 cup chopped nuts, mini marshmallows, maybe a teaspoon of vanilla, or any extract. Have fun.

For You I am Thankful

For the past 20 some days Facebook has been crowded with things people are thankful for.  I some how missed the first few days and then never got around to joining in on the activity. I thought this morning, I'll just do a blog on things I am thankful for and cover the entire month's activity with one blog.  How efficient. Then I starting thinking of things I'm thankful for and it just all seemed to materialist for me.  Here we go again with things.  So I thought I'll do people and only people.  Some are still earthly some or not, but for all, I am thankful this Thanksgiving. So here we go:
God, Rob, Justin, Cassie, my Mom, my Dad, my brothers (sometimes) Rickey, Gary and David, my sister-in-laws (who put up with my brothers on a daily basis) Linda, Caron, Joanne, my nieces and nephews,  Christopher, Becky, Haleigh, Ian, Becky, Michael, Lindsey, Kayla, Nikki, Zoey, my Grandparents, Ova and Junior Felton, Shade and Prudence Bolyard, my aunts and uncles, my cousins ( near and far) my doctors, John J. Keefe (who dumped me last week), P. Van Nickell (luv ya shrinky poo), and dentists (Lynnel Beauchesne,  Gavin Criser (Dr. McHot),  my friends Julie Schooley, Kathy Tasker, Brandy Stempor, Janice Cool, Debbie Taylor, Mary Phillips, Deb and Allen, my blog readers, my Facebook friends, so I took a little beach walk break at this point of my blog and spent my morning walk reflecting on this post and my mind flooded with people I am blessed to have in my life. My childhood to adult friends, Helen Ashenfelter, Kim Cooper, Margaret Martin.  My former student friends, Meloney Roy who is my friend, hair stylist and colorist (no my hair color is not natural), Lisa Bolyard Hizeman (my tail gate, gehetto girlfriend), her little sister, Erin and all my other former students, who still put up with me. There are my Class of 76 classmates who I will always consider friends. There are old college friends I was blessed to have in my life like Terri, Lisa, and Sandy.  I can't forget my teachers who have become my friends Sue and Earl Snyder, Bob Ridenour and others. My early career teacher friends, Lisa Parker, Donni Conklin Ridenour, Jana Miller and Andrea Rosier Friend. My two "helping me keep my sanity in my classroom" friends, Brandy Stempor and Kim Burns.  My "What are we going to decorate or maybe drink today friend, Flicky. All our neighbors on Oak Street who look out for us, Justin and Cassie, my parents and our homes. My" keep me out of trouble at the Board Office" friend, Susan.  My "you know we like each other friend" Chris Phillips.  My new friends Nicole and Nesha, who let me hang out at their boutique. My "Justin's friends are my friends" like Justin Shaffer, Jared and Jen and the others in the Preston High School class of 2005. My "parents of students" friends that I was blessed to meet Connie Amtower, Lana Plume, Danie Snyder and many others. My friends that"left my life too early" Libby and Franko and to all of those I haven't met yet, I give "Thanks".

Takes a Whole Lot of Tacky

It takes a whole lot of tacky to be noticed in this old river town. In Rockefeller Park I can walk around with my halo of flowers and no one seems to notice because this is the kind of place where you can see tye dyed beside taffeta or cowboy boots standing beside flip flops. I was in my backyard the other morning when one of the town policemen showed up to serve warrants on a couple of the neighborhood kids.  He didn't even seem to notice the "get up" I had on while watering my plastic flamingos and hibiscus plant.  He stayed for awhile and chatted and gave me his card when he left and said "call me if you need anything." I can even wear my "slut" clothes here. There is no one who likes "slut" clothes more than me, except for Julie. I wore one of my "slut" shirts to an appointment with my shrink one day.  I don't think he was impressed.  Actually, he kind of said in a nice way, "Why in the hell are you dressed like that?"  I tried to explain to him that maybe I looked  a little out of place in a corner office, on the 8th floor, city office but believe me I go unnoticed in the old river town in my " slut" clothes, where it takes a whole lot tacky to even get notice.  Nicole and Nesha actually like my dollar store jewelry and accessory "get-ups" when I stroll into their store to be a living model  I mean this is a place where even I have asked on occasion, "Is that crotchless underwear or a skirt?" Back to my shrink,  I think he tried to be diplomatic, as to not further injure my fragile ego, when he asked about my "slut" top, which I still have, like and wear.  Now, back to Julie,  Julie and I dressed like "hookers" when we went to the Ma Donna concert in DC a few years ago. The gay guys we sat with thought it was cool that we were teachers and dressed like hookers at a Ma Donna concert.  I was OK with the evening until Julie wanted to go for a late night walk down by the capitol building.  I was afraid if we got picked up for being hookers it might be kind of difficult to explain to Rob and Mark.  We aren't teachers any more.  Anyway, no one seems to care either when I take out the trash in my Tinker Bell pajamas or do laundry wearing a beach cover up/night gown/or what ever else I want to wear my "pink-little-number" for.  Even my friends, who visit, like that you can go to Food-lion in a bathing suit here, a wet one, at that.  Living here saves on laundry because "tacky" doesn't require high maintenance and many days I go from pajamas to bathing suit and back again before dinner and bed.  I spend lots of time to get just that perfect "tacky" look. My shrink thinks my clothes are making a statement.  You think??????

You Know Who You Are .......... In Memory of Eston

There are days I think I will never have anything to blog about again and then there are days I wish I had nothing to blog about.  Today is one of the latter. Yesterday I started noticing the posts on Facebook about a young man from Buckhannon, WV who had apparently committed suicide.  Later I found out that he had been bullied. Amazing how the finger pointing starts after the fact. The following are my opinions and my not be popular with some of you or may even offend some. I hope if you are a bully that my remarks do offend you. I also hope my remarks offend those who stand back and do nothing. Bullying has been around since I've been alive. Bullies come in all shapes, sizes, ages and social classes. Kids are not the only bullies or the only ones bullied. Adults, too, can be bullies and be bullied. I just retired from 30 years in the public school system.  I'm also a mother. These are my observations and experiences. I think kids learn how to treat other people from their adult role models. These may be their parents, coaches, teachers, family members, neighbors or religious family members. There the problem lies or begins. Adults can be bullies and other adults passively allow them to be. Kids pick up these clues from adults. Sadly, sometimes these adult bullies, not only intimidate kids but other adults. There are many forms of bullying.  I think most people think of the physical and mental aspects of bullying, the name calling and or physically assaulting someone. There are other less sutle but just as hurtful ways to bully someone. I find favoritism, discrimination, elitism, and exclusion other very real forms of bullying. I witnessed these daily in the public school system and not just by young students but by their parents and teachers. The longer I taught, the more blatant these forms of bullying became. I have had parents say to me "Who cares about those kids? Their parents don't even care?"  Sad, isn't it that the kids that need the most, get the least. I witnessed teachers treating kids differently depending on where they lived or what their parents did for a living. Believe me, kids aren't stupid.  They know. What bothered me more than the passive bullying was the passive acceptance of adults. This acceptance came from adults who thought they were well educated, up standing, Christian members of the community.  People who thought nothing of playing favorites, discriminating against poor and special education kids,  just as long as their kids and kid's friends remind untouched. I  didn't stay on the sidelines for long but started challenging the system. This was not popular. I then became a victim of bullying. Yes, adults will bully other adults when they feel challenged but they usually gather others around to help them, just like kids. My true friends know how my story turned out.  I am an adult, fairly opinionated, strong willed and willing to fight for myself. It wasn't easy. I can't imagine going up against bullies when you are still just a kid. I think it is more than time for all of us to take a good look in the mirror and at each other. You know who you are. We may not be able to entirely end bullying but we can begin to lessen it but we have to start with ourselves.  Don't set this issue out on the sidelines. We are loosing beautiful young people that we can't afford to loose.  In memory of Eston

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Following My Heart

It was a nice idea, my schedule that is.  I really thought I should have a schedule or maybe I thought other people thought I should have a schedule.  Maybe, I thought I would just waste the days away or in some crazy way I needed to justify my retirement. Well, that all lasted about one week or less.  Justin predicted this. I'm not sure why or how.  I had my best intentions.  I just woke up this morning at nine and realized I was two hours behind on my schedule, and then suddenly it just didn't matter.  I openly admitted it on face book and then did what I wanted for the day.  I think I actually accomplished more. I read, wrote, did my devotions, visited the girls at the Sun Dollar Boutique. walked on the beach, made a few purchases, made banana nut bread, washed clothes and a few other things. I decided I want to live following my heart not a schedule. As I stated before, I've followed a schedule for years. August through early November, I was on a tight schedule with Mom and Dad's meds and care.  I told my self I wasn't going to do anything for a month. I guess for me, that was rather unrealistic but not having a schedule really feels like the right thing to do.  Other retired teachers suggested to me on face book that I throw away the schedule and my watch. I think that is pretty good advice. Following your heart is freeing.  It allows for stopping to pick up shells on a beach walk, it allows for afternoon naps, it allows for hanging out with Nicole and Nesha at the Sun Dollar Boutique, sending cards to friends, watching TV, dancing to music, matching up jewelry to my outfits, wondering through thrift stores, watching the squirrels play outside my french doors, playing with Midnight, writing a book, talking on the phone and of course face book.

Tossing Rocks and Creating Ripples

Growing up and living on the Cheat River has allowed me much practice tossing rocks into the river and watching the ripples that rock creates. I've spent some time today thinking about rock tossing and ripples. Most kids when tossing rocks don't think about the ripples that rock creates. As a kid, I was more interested in the ripples created than the actual tossing of the rock into the water. The pattern and distance the ripples reach always impressed me.  It seemed almost magical that I could toss a pebble into a calm eddy of water on the river and how far the ripples would expand and reach out into the eddy.  Maybe adults should throw rocks into rivers more often or maybe everyone needs a refresher course on rock throwing and how ripples are created.  Penn State is the perfect example of ripples. A rock is thrown and the ripples created expanded and reach out into what appeared to be a calm and beautiful eddy.  The problem is that the rock thrown was an evil rock, and someone forgot how far reaching the ripples would spread. We all toss rocks every day into the pool of life.  Do we stop to think what kind of rocks we are tossing and how far reaching the ripples we be? There will be ripples and long after you have walked away the effects of the rock you tossed will be felt.  Choose your rocks carefully.

Football is Just a Game

You are right Julie.  My blogs are not always funny, because life is not always funny. Penn State is not funny, rather I should say a select group of men at Penn State are not funny nor are they decent human beings. The Penn State incident does take the opportunity to once again hit us over the head with a few important life lessons. The lessons are as follows:


Football is just a game/sport. It does not cure cancer. It did not teach your son to read.

Cheer Leading is not even a sport.

Money can be the root of evil.

Watching a crime and saying nothing makes you just as guilty as the criminal.

Do not worship false Gods.

Men are merely mortal.

One person can make a difference.

David can bring down Goliath.

The higher the pedestal, the longer and harder the fall.

A person can be judged on how they treat children, animals, the elderly, the weak, and less fortunate.

 The past will come back to haunt you.

Clean up your mess when you first make it. It won't go away and it will probably only get harder to clean up later

 There are good people at Penn State and football is not Penn State.  Football is Just a Game.

Thift Store Friday

First Happy Veteran's Day and Happy 11/11/11. This was cool Rob and I talked on the phone at 11:11 on 11/11/11. I was returning Rob's phone call and reporting on my thrift store finds of the day. I decided when I was filling my pockets for my morning beach walk today to stick a $10.00 bill in my pocket for some designer shopping. My first stop was the little thrift store across from the beach beside TGIF. The first thing I did was put my bid in for a piece of furniture I kind of want. This thrift store takes their best donations (designer things) and they go up for silent auction. This store also runs specials.  Today was 1/2 off women's clothing and accessories and books. My first bargain was a very nice striped brown and pink 3/4 sleeve top for $3.50, then I picked up a couple of books for a dollar a piece.  The have a cute little library room in this store, also. I bought the book The Millionaire Next Door to re read because it preaches the philosophy of living beneath your means. I didn't just randomly pick up the top either.  It will match a pair of Capri pants that Rob picked up for me on the clearance rake at Sears before I got here. They were $5.  My next stop was the newly opened Sand Dollar Boutique. Everything in the store is a dollar except for a very small $3 dollar section. I love this store. It looks up scale but everything is $1. The owner taught school for three years and said she has the highest respect for teachers. Another reason to shop there. Since I had my top with me, I matched a cute little accent scarf and jewelry set to the top. I now have a complete outfit for $10.50.  Everything is new except for the top that maybe was worn one time. I think I'll take a photo and post when I do a blog about the Sand Dollar Boutique Grand Opening next week. Anyway, as most of you know I love Dollar Stores, thrift stores, bargain shopping, and clearance racks. I love swapping clothes with people. I do not believe in paying a big price for clothes and never have. I love giving my clothes away when they no longer meet my purposes. Tip of the day. Live beneath your means like the real Millionaires do --thrift shop, swap clothes, mix and match and don't be afraid of second hand.

Feed Back Accepted

I don't know whether this is pathetic or good but I put myself on a schedule. I was a very scheduled person for years, especially being a teacher. The same thing, at the same time, day after day, year after year. Administrators told you how many minutes to teach each subject, what time of the day, when to start and stop, how long it should take between classes, when you were eating lunch, going to the bathroom, doing your planning, etc. We were required to post our schedules, give a copy to the principal, send copies home with our students and above all follow that schedule by the minute. I said when I retired I would have no schedule. I left Florida the end of July to take care of Mom and Dad. For 3 months I had 12 to 14 hour days, seven days a week. At the end of those three months, I said I planned to do nothing for a month. I flew out of Pittsburgh on Sunday evening, Slept most of Monday and by Tuesday realized I needed a schedule. So folks what do you think? Is this  good or pathetic. My doctors who try very hard to keep me mentally and physically healthy think doing nothing is not for me. One especially is worried.  Some how he feels I won't be happy unless I have a cause or I am helping someone or giving someone "hell".   I have no idea where people come up with these things. On Tuesday I made the following schedule:  Debra’s Schedule

7-8 AM - Breakfast/Facebook/E-mail/Blog

8-9 AM - Morning Beach Walk

9-10 AM - Shower/Hair/Make-up/Dress/Jewelry

10-12 AM -
                Monday - Laundry
                Tuesday - Library
                Wednesday - Shopping
                Thursday - Errands/Appointments
                Friday - Housework 

12-1 PM - Lunch/Tidy up the kitchen

1-2 PM - Meditation Garden/Devotions/Readings

2-3 PM - Writing

3-4 PM - Nate Berkus Show

4-5 PM - Dr. Oz

5-5:30 PM - Dinner Prep

5:30-6:00 PM - Dinner

6:00-7:00 PM - Relax/News

7:00-8:00 PM - Gym

8:00-10:00 PM - TV/Read/Relax/Shower

10:00 PM - Bed

By Wednesday, after cleaning and rearranging the living room, I realized maybe someone was right and I needed some volunteer work in the schedule or "giving back" time, so I started looking for places to volunteer yesterday. Today, I'm trying to keep to my schedule, which Justin thinks is impossible.  Did he not notice I worked, raised him and did many other things?  Believe me!  I kept a schedule.  Maybe not as rigid as Julie's schedule but I kept a schedule. Feed back will be accepted on my schedule.  I probably won't listen to anyone, but feedback will be accepted. You know somethings just never change.

The Couch Ate My Cell Phone Again !!!!!

I thought I'd better blog on this topic while it is still fresh in my mind. I've always had cell phone issues. Actually, I have many issues but therapy was invented for people like me but I'm not sure if therapy can help me with my cell phone. First, I'm not a big fan of cell phones.  Sometimes I really just don't want to be a phone call away. Second, I'm not good with them. Last year Brandy and my fourth graders kept track of my phone for me and did all my texting and all the other functions I still haven't mastered and really don't plan to. I don't have them this year to keep track of my phone and it is showing. I constantly loose my phone. My parents quickly figured out I had phone issues and tried to help me. When I left their house everyday they would say "Debra, Do you have your phone, keys and drink?' Usually, I had two out of the three.  Back to last night.  NCIS was over and I talked to Rob. That was upstairs on the bed. Maybe my phone is on the bed. I tore the bed apart. No phone. I looked under the bed. No phone. Wait, no, I talked to Rob later downstairs. It has to be downstairs. I looked everywhere downstairs even in the refrigerator. No phone. I knew Rob would be calling after Dancing With the Stars and he would be frantic if I didn't answer. Well, probably not but I like to feel needed. I checked the couch again, every nook and cranny. I mean digging down in and everything. In fact, I had recently showered and I was quickly becoming a sweaty mess. OK, so I'm not in great shape but I was honestly working my ass off (I could only wish) looking for my phone. The dreaded happened. It rang. It was in the couch somewhere. The couch was ringing. I started digging again with no success. I flipped up the recliners on each end got on the floor and looked underneath. No phone. I pulled it out from the wall. Still no phone. It had to be there somewhere. By now, I was profusely sweating, breathing hard, and laying on the floor behind the couch in my Tinker Bell PJ's.  At this point, I thought can I turn this couch upside down without Rob???  I also hoped no one showed up at the door. I hadn't felt this helpless since the tree frog incident. Wait, is that something red. Yes, there tucked up against the back metal bracket of the couch was my phone. I knew it was there. Well, actually I didn't but I found it. I quickly called Rob. My breathing was labored. He asked me what was wrong. I told him that I lost my cell phone in the couch again. All he could say was, "Did you find my knife?"

Stick to the Topic

Where's the tape? My family is obsessed with tape. When I met Rob he said his Grandfather Kemack thought the answer to everything was tape and he had bags of it. Rob was correct on that statement. When his Grandfather died over 25 years ago, we inherited his bags of tape. We still have some left and of course have added to it. I always liked tape as a kid and my students seem to love tape. They would create these masterpieces of paper and tape while they should have been studying their multiplication facts or spelling words. I would catch them sticking them in their ears and mouths.  They hoarded them in their desks, made them for friends, tried to sell them. Anyway, I had to put a limit on how much tape they could have in a day. When I had a substitute, I always returned to an empty tape dispenser. My last year of teaching colored duct tape was the rage in my class. Rob and I seen to always have transparent tape. masking tape, duct tape, clear packing tape, electrical tape, and a sticky stringy type of tape his Grandfather kept always around the house. The day doesn't feel complete if I don't tape something. When I was cleaning David's house out. He had a junk drawer in his kitchen full of tape. First thing this morning, I thought I need to put some tape on this envelope before I put it out for the mail. Tape is one of those comfort things in life that just seems to make things right. I don't know why but I feel much safer in a house that has a drawer with tape in it. It also helps if there is a gun in the same drawer.

Flight to Florida

I have no idea sometimes why anyone reads anything that I have to say but I just keep talking and  writing. It has been a while but here goes. Yesterday, Justin and Cassie picked me up at the house at 8:30 AM or so.  They decided we needed to take advantage of the drive to Pittsburgh and since I was footing the bill, why not make it a full day. First stop was McDonald's Drive-Up window. I had a bacon/egg/ and cheese biscuit. Justin decided he should have another breakfast since I was paying. We stopped at Mom and Dad's in Morgantown so I could say good-bye. Of course David and his stupid dog, Owen had to stop by and interrupt my visit. I took Mom  a winter top and Dad some candy. Mom had already yelled at Dad for the day for eating breakfast twice. Genes are a powerful thing in our family. Good byes said we were on to our next stop, the outlet stores. I really did not intend to buy anything but I did. All the summer things are drastically reduced because well it is winter up there (meaning WV and PA) but not here, so I got some Capri's, shorts, tops and a cute tennis top that was $60.00 for $6.00.  I like to look the part of whatever it is I'm doing whether I actually know what I'm doing. If you get the drift? We also tried all the sample foods in Harry and David's and the kitchen stores. Next stop was Harbor Freight. I refused to go into the store. Justin is the perfect business man. He, in one phone conversation, convinced Rob that we needed a smaller generator for just the sump pump and we stopped to get it. Once again, I paid. He has volunteered to take our almost new, large, powerful generator off our hands for his house. I think this has a lot to do with keeping Cassie in Rowlesburg for the winter. By now it was close three o'clock and I needed food. We ate at Max and Erma's. I had French Onion Soup and a small club sandwich. Justin reminded me that I was eating French Onion soup when I went into labor for him. Not that I ever plan on going into labor again but just one more useless piece of information everyone can know about me. I mean who cares what I ate but I will add that I paid again. Rob and I could only afford one Justin, and I will admit that many times I just give him the money so he will shut up because he is a lot like me and it is just easier to turn over the generator, money or whatever to maintain any degree of sanity. On to the airport. I had my boarding pass, ID and only my purse and a small carry on bag. Sounds simple. Nothing is simple at the airport. I showed my boarding pass and ID. Fine. Took off my Berks, dumped everything into a bin and put my purse and bag up on the conveyor belt.  No knives, guns, sharp objects or explosives. This should be quick.  Not for me. An attendant stopped, looked at about five of us and said, "Who's blue and white Martha Stewart bag?" I confessed. They stopped me and said that there was an unidentifiable black space in my Martha Stewart tote. What? I packed this bag carefully and tightly to fit my jewelry, note pads, books, paperwork, meditation books, beach Christmas attire, etc. perfectly. Everyone looked at me like I had the perfect disguise, a terrorist is dressed like a chubby, blonde, blued eyed, American middle age lady in jeans with a lime green Daytona Beach sweatshirt  "Sorry, we are going to have to unpack this bag. The x-ray machine can't seem to penetrate something in your bag." 10 minutes later it turns out that my bag was so precisely packed that it was too dense for the machine. Guess who had to repack it? The attendant volunteered but looked more than relieved when I said that I would do it. Finally through security, it was on to my gate. No sweat. I found a seat and chilled out. The flight was on time and I sat with two ladies from Pittsburgh who were on there way to Disney for a week. One worked for Verizon and shared Verizon's version of an I Pad with me. The flight was fine, arrived in Orlando a  little early, Rob picked me up and we drove home. Well, he missed a few turns and exits and then we got home. I ate some of my Hawaiian Pizza and had a diet Cherry Pepsi and went to bed. Rob was tired and had to get up at 5 AM so nothing else exciting happened. We don't need another Justin anyway.

Sometimes You Have to Laugh So You Don't Cry

So after my philosophical day yesterday, I returned home to take the trash out at my house. Mom and Dad had been given their dinner, the kitchen cleaned, Dad had his 6 o'clock meds and Mom was ready for bed maybe I could get a quick bite to eat and a little rest before the 8 o'clock meds. Obviously my idea for my journey last night and what become my reality were two very different things. After pulling the trash cans out to the road, I returned to my phone beeping. I was only outside a few minutes, messages already? The first message was Mom's voice.  She needed me and there was a sound of desperation.  I grabbed Buster and jumped in my vehicle and drove up the street and ran into the house. What I saw was totally unexpected, even, for me and 3 months into taking care of Mom and Dad. The house was covered with blood. I mean like NCIS crime scene (which Rob makes me watch).  I actually feel like Rob, Jethro and I are in a threesome sometimes. Anyway, there was blood all over Mom's bedroom, the kitchen and bathroom. Mom was sitting at the kitchen table and Dad was attempting to clean up blood with a paper towel. I asked Mom what happened.  She said she didn't know but her toe was bleeding and wouldn't stop. Mom is diabetic and her skin is becoming paper thin with age. A mere scratch for you or me because a gushing wound for her. I put her bloody foot on my knee and began to apply pressure with a wash cloth to her foot. Buster was running through the blood and Dad was lost in what to do. With my other hand I called her doctor for advice. He wasn't home but his wife gave me advice. Off the phone, I told Dad to get Buster's leash and get it on him and go to the living room with him. Mom's toe continued to gush blood. I threw the blood soaked wash cloth into the sink and grabbed another. At this time, I looked and Dad was on the floor in the hall trying to put not Buster's leash but my lanyard with keys on Buster, who had a look on his face like, "Grandpa, I'm a dog I don't know how to drive." I think this was at about the same time Cassie called and wanted to know when Dad's birthday was. My mine went blank. "Why does she want to know now, at all times, what the date is of Dad's birthday. I had forgotten I asked her to pick up one of Dad's prescriptions. I quickly told her his birth date and told her to come to Mom and Dad's. I then went into the hall  and helped Dad up, picked up Buster, put his leash on him and took Buster and Dad to the living room. Cassie arrived about 20 minutes later, took Buster across the street and came back and started helping me with Mom. Cassie called a friend of hers who is a doctor. He gave us added advice.  Justin arrived next and Mom thinks he can do anything, even be a doctor, because he teaches first aid and CPR, so I turned Mom over to Justin because I figured if he could skin a deer, he could deal with Mom's toe. I don't deal well with blood but found myself cleaning up what looked like a crime scene. I remembered everything I had watched on NCIS and began carefully mopping with hot water, bleach, and detergent. When I got to the carpeting in Mom's bedroom, Cassie and I decided to dump carpet shampoo on the carpet and let in soak for awhile. Next came Spray and Wash on clothes and double soaking cycles in the wash. Justin has by now bandaged Mom's toe with pressure and is complaining about being hungry. I am personally ready to throw up but tell him there are still meat balls and sauce down at my house to go make him and Cassie meatball hoagies. Three hours later things are under control. This morning Brandy, Justin and I are discussing whether bleach kills DNA. I'm not sure why but I think it has something to do with NCIS. Mom is recovering today, Dad is napping, and I'm still in my PJ's at 1:30 thinking if I can get Mom and Dad to promise to stay in one place for a few minutes, I can go home, get a shower and get dressed for the day. Some how I'm thinking all of this is some how David's fault.

Forgiveness of sins, Resurrection of the Body, and Life Ever Lasting

So I figured something out for me today. That long search for answers, being the perfect answers. There are none. There are no perfect answers, many times in life no answers at all. Life is basically a journey with no map and very few clues. All of us face one final destination but our journeys there are uniquely our own. I use to search for the answers to life like I was taking a multiple choice test and there could only possibly be one answer and that one answer had to be the right answer for everyone. I no longer think as life as a test with only right answers but rather a journey and because there is no map, mistakes and wrong turns are taken and that is where "forgiveness of sins" comes into play for all of us. There is no "perfect" religion just as there is no perfect answer on the phantom test. To be honest, I'm not sure about heaven and hell, but resurrection takes place because matter is never really created or destroyed but only changes form so scientifically and spiritually we are never really gone, therefore on this planet there is everlasting life, and because this planet is so unique maybe the belief that there is something so much larger than us makes life so very difficult to understand at times. As we enter fall, with winter on our doorstep and another year ended, we once more have watched the changing of seasons, the circle of life, and death making way for new life in the spring.

I Can't Help Myself

I can't help myself today. I have to complain. I know that is something folks don't expect from me but it has been one of those days and it isn't even three o'clock. I decided yesterday that Justin and I needed to trim the hedges that were overgrown at his house on the corner of Cemetery and Oak Street.  Sounds simple, correct. No so much. First, I had to locate the hedge trimmers.  Justin said Rob had them at our house.  Rob said Justin had them.  I looked in our garage, Dad's garage, Justin's garage, no hedge trimmers.  I called Rob he said maybe that they were in our garage by side the refrigerator. I took Justin with me to look.  We looked and looked. In the process I decided to throw away Rob's bucket collection.  The collection that he keeps for all the work projects that he is always going to do.  "Going to do" would be the key words. You know "I might need that to put dirt in, or mix cement, mix paint, haul rock, sit on, clean out the pellet stove or haul something in it."  Guess what Rob?  You were at the beach all last summer, at the beach this summer and as far as I know you are still in your major recovery that started in August so the 999 buckets went out to the trash. Oh, it was only 996, because Justin took 3 for all the work he doesn't do. Justin finally found the hedge trimmers under a tarp on top of the snow blower in the back of the garage about 3 miles from the refrigerator.  Justin and I headed back up Oak Street to his house and started the trimming job.  Which went rather well UNTIL, Dad said to haul a rotten log planter off from the front yard, if there was room in the truck. What ensued next had all the makings for a nuclear war. It seems that the rotten planter log was a gift to Mom from guess who?  You guessed it, the Golden Child, David.  So, Mom and Dad got into it over the rotten log. I think Mom forgot that she tried to pay someone $30.00 last week to cut and dig out Dad's favorite fern in the front yard. I was hot, hungry and sweating from the hedge trimming and hadn't had breakfast and it was only noon. I just wanted to go to Cool Springs and get something to eat with Justin. Next big mistake was I asked Mom to go. She won't ride in the car with Dad. So off Justin, Dad and I went to Cool Springs.  I had a foot long hot dog with chili, onions, mustard and ketchup and cheese cubes.  Justin and I decided that Cool Springs is a lot like Cheers but without the beer, you know where everyone knows your name. Today it would have been nice to have had three or maybe even four shots of Jack Daniels but I had to settle for chocolate milk. We finished our lunches.  Justin headed to Bell Hill to check out the road.  Dad and I headed to town to get the mail. I put on my body armor  and entered the house.  Mom said that Rick had called from Italy and said to tell everyone hello. Dad informed me that my phone was making a noise. It was Rob he remembered where the hedge trimmers were in the garage. There is a reason people drink.

Grab a Hand and Hang On

OK, so I admit that some people think Chris and I are negative in our blogs sometimes. Chris's Mom, Mary, thinks he should blog about positive things like fall leaves.  I think Chris and I are cut from the same cloth as scary as that my be. We write about life and how we feel about it and how life can get very messing and crazy at a moment's notice. Last night, while watching "Grey's Anatomy", I knew what I would blog about today and that would be the general theme of last night's show. The theme played out as a sink hole opened up in the street, caused by a main water line leak, and sucked people down from a perfectly normal day into pure hell. Only on TV, not really. I, very early in my young adult life, awoke from a fairly typical college life to a brother knocking at my door one morning with the diagnoses of cancer, a few years later a devastating flood raged through my hometown, and the list goes on. Life is not always predictable and sometimes it is positively wonderful. Many times I am in awe of everything including fall leaves but sometimes life sucks and that is the nicest way I can think of to say it. I've never been one to walk around sugar coating life. I pretty much say what I think. I think for years TV tried to portray perfect families, in perfect homes, in perfect neighborhoods. I also think there are people on social networks, like face book, that try to do the same thing. Everyone gets that perfect Christmas card every year from the perfect family. That is not me.  I know life can be harsh. I saw it on the faces of students in my classrooms for 30 years and they had done nothing to deserve it. I like people to know my life is not perfect because let's face it, we all know life is not perfect and why make people feel bad or unfortunate by sugar coating something that isn't. I do try to find humor in it all and with the help of others stay relatively positive. I always root for the underdog and I love people who overcome insurmountable odds. Life is very good at times as we all know but no one is immune to being sucked into a sink hole in a moments notice. So Chris and I will probably at sometime write about the wonders of fall  and things that we really like but also plan on reading our thoughts on all sides of this thing called life. As Meredith Grey said last night "Sometimes the best you can hope for is for someone to love and them to love you, and grab their hand and hang on for the ride." I for one, have had a pretty bumpy ride the last year and so hasn't Chris.

I Hate Cell Phones

The last two days have been more than trying. Everyone knows I hate cell phones. I hate people being able to have constant communication contact with me. I generally only like talking to people if I have something to say. I don't really care what other people have to say or think, especially David and Chris. I am well known for having a cell phone but turning it off and also never listening to my messages. I feel that if something is really important it will be on face book. I also misplace my phone quite frequently as I did two days ago which ended up in a Felton/Morell family melt down. I left my phone at my Mom and Dad's house. They found my phone and tried to call me.  That didn't work but they kept trying and wondered why I didn't answer.  Dad finally convinced Mom to call my house phone. Rob and I haven't had a land phone for months so that didn't work either. Mom got frantic and called Cassie.  Cassie came over and convinced Mom that I couldn't answer my phone because they had my phone.  Cassie delivered my phone to me.  I didn't even know it was missing.  Mom now reminds me to take my phone with me. Now at this point you would think all is well.  It isn't!  Yesterday, I made sure I had my phone and I brought it in the house with me. Why, I have no idea but I felt compelled to put up the orange pumpkin Halloween lights for fall. So I headed outside with the tangle of lights, Buster on his lead, and guess what no phone!!!!  Well, Rob was at the Bikini Shoppe in Ormond.  He said he was looking at the clearance rack for me.  Like, I believe that.  Anyway, I didn't answer so he called Mom and Dad's house. They said I went home with my phone.  So, I guess they tried to call me. Guess, what folks?  I'm outside putting up lights. Then Rob called again, still no Debra.  Then Mom and Dad called again, still no answer. Them Mom and Dad called Justin in Morgantown. I guess at this point I must have been finished hanging the orange pumpkin light mess, which I have decided I will never do again. Hanging those lights kind of felt like having a root canal without my famous Dr. McHot. OK, back to the cell phone thing. As I walked in the house Justin called and wanted to know where I was and what I was doing. At this point I was so tempted but anyway I said I was home. "Why aren't you answering your phone, everyone is looking for you." I tried to explain I was hanging up the traditional orange lights and watching his dog. "Well, Dad is trying to call you!" Like, that has never happened before. Justin continues to give me the run down of the previous 955 phone calls I have missed and thousands of messages I've never listened to or responded to. OK, OK, I'll call everyone. First, I could Mom and Dad. Dad had already forgotten I was missing. Then I called Rob, who was still at the Bikini Shoppe.  I asked him what was so important. I could sense the desperation in his voice to come up with something. Here it is or so he says. He found a cute pink strapless sundress he thought I just couldn't live without.  REALLY ROB. It is rainy, cold, and it is probably going to snow here next week but if it will make you feel better buy the sun dress and get out of the bikini shoppe because I know what the girls in the bikini shoppe are wearing, and stop calling Mom and Dad when I'm missing. I want to be missing.  I HATE CELL PHONES!

Front Porches On Oak Street

I love front porches, especially front porches that people actually sit on. Oak Street in Rowlesburg has always been a front porch kind of street. Most of the homes were built in the early 1900's on Oak Street so front porches were a very useful extension to the home especially in the summer before AC.  In fact our house nor my parents still have central AC. There are early black and white photos of David and I fenced in on the front porch playing when we still wore diapers. As we grew, the mothers on the street would sit on their porches in the evening, visit back and forth, and watch us kids play. I've been sitting on Mom and Dad's front porch with them almost every day and have discovered again how much I like porches. Oak Street has a variety of front porches. Flicky's house has a big wrap around porch that we actually sat on it this past weekend and took a break from our chores. We indulged in a drink or two while chatting, laughing and appreciating the view of Cheat River and the hillside. Mom and Dad have a small front porch that is close the sidewalk and makes it perfect to visit with the neighbors and people walking by. Chris has been rebuilding his and Paula's front porch this summer and I try to stop by everyday and give him advice or a little supervision on his project. Joann has a beautiful front porch. Justin has a swing and a dining table for late evening meals on his and Cassie's porch. Cassie has added outdoor candles which is a nice romantic touch. Gwendolyn has a nice porch and her brother can be seen many days enjoying it when I walk up the street to Mom and Dad's house. Bob and Bonnie have a nice windowed in front porch with screens that they enjoy. We all enjoy decorating our porches on Oak Street with flowers and seasonal decorations. Gary and Anna have beautiful flowers and wind socks on their porch. Anna told me that they got the beautiful wind socks at the beach. I'm not sure if other streets and places enjoy their porches as much as we do on Oak Street. As a kid and now as an adult, I love the house on the corner of Oak Street where Miss B. Francis lived.  It has a wrap a round porch and a double upper/lower back porch. She always kept her porches nice and had a beautiful wisteria that grew on the front porch. Virginia's porch is pretty with its wicker furniture and flowers. Soon fall will be here, then winter and porch season will be gone. I will miss it.

Update on My Life

I know everyone who reads my blog is interested in every morsel of my life so I will catch everyone up today. Rob left for Florida with Midnight. He learned his lesson and medicated and put Midnight in his carrier before loading the car. I got out of bed to see him off and thought about going back to bed but was prevented from doing so by an endless series of phone calls and requests. Spent a couple of evenings having a night cap or two with Flicky on her front porch. Buster injured his foot and Justin's back is out or so he thinks. So those two have limped around all weekend. Chris threatened to come up but never showed. I've started putting together Mom and Dad's winter wardrobes because as Dad said, "I don't want David doing it!" David actually got "best dressed male" in our high school class. Honestly, I don't see how. Anyway, I like things to match and coordinate.  I'm still working on cleaning out Mom and Dad's basement because once I was almost finished my stupid brother Rickey started bringing things out of the attic and putting them in the basement.  The only good thing to come out of that was finding my Brownie Scout Sit- Upon. Justin did make Buster a cast for his foot, which I'm looking at right now because he is laying beside me. Justin wouldn't answer his phone until noon today so I left a message on his phone that I had fallen in Mom and Dad's basement and was bleeding to death. He obviously didn't care because he never came or called.  David called and said he was going golfing after school.  Now that is a big news flash to anyone who knows David. I washed clothes for Mom and Dad today, got the mail, cleaned up the kitchen, called in prescriptions, took them a snack, helped Dad adjust his new Berkinstocks, put Mom's hearing aids in, made out their grocery list, made them dinner, gave Dad his meds, talked to my brothers and tried to locate Flicky's bras which are very large and should be easy to find. Rob just called from South Carolina and said he had to go to the bathroom.  Some days seem to go on endlessly.

Finally, It All Makes Sense

For years I couldn't figure something out and today I finally did. It has to do with my brothers. I never seemed to be anything like my brothers. One, they are idiots and I'm not. Two, they have no sense of style and well everyone knows the Queen. Three, they have dumb hobbies like golf, bird watching and hunting. My hobbies are cultured and intellectual. Four, they can't cook or clean. Five, they don't appreciate fine art and fashion like me. Five, they don't like to read and they called me a "bookworm" when I was a little kid. As an adult, I have questioned whether they can even read. I love to read. Six, they have no sense of humor and I find myself very humorous. Seven, they have no idea how to decorate for the holidays and I am an expert at that also.  Eight, they have no common sense.  Nine, they never liked Barbies or dolls and I love both. Ten, they are annoying while I am more than delightful. So I got up the nerve to finally ask Dad the big question.  ARE MY THREE BROTHERS ADOPTED?  "YES,"  DAD REPLIED  "I THOUGHT YOU KNEW'  Finally, it all makes sense.

Pottery Bowls, Faded Photos, and Canning Jars

I turned the radio on the other morning on my drive up to Mom and Dad's house. The lyrics in a song hit a chord with me "you can't buy a house in heaven".   How true that is today as it has always been. I immediately thought of the things we collect and acquire throughout life and that none of it leaves here with us. I've been spending weeks cleaning out my parents basement, and it is pretty much coming down to old pottery bowls, faded photos, and canning jars. My Dad and I discussed not long ago about where does the keeping of sentimental items end. He has things of his great grand parents, grand parents  and parents and they will continue to be handed down but where does it all end. The tools are divided, Mom's glassware, and the contents of the fruit cellar, but honestly it is the little things that mean the most. A couple of weeks ago Dad wanted to drive by his great grandparents and grandparent's farm.  The "home place", where it all started for us Felton's in Rowlesburg. The foundation is all that is left of the original house. Old faded photos show a farm house, garden, chickens, children and dog.  All that make a family, but in the end a stone foundation stands and memories for my dad's generation. You really can't buy a place in heaven no matter how much material things you have or collect. In the end, someone goes through everything and wonders.  Some is kept, some discarded and other things given away. The longer I spend clearing cobwebs, scrubbing basement walls and floors and going through my parents basement where a collect of a lifetime of 60 years of marriage reside, I find myself wanting less and less and rather cling to the memories my parents made in the basement raising four children. We can not buy a place in heaven with things or take them with us but hopefully the memories do cling to our souls like the cobwebs to the ceiling in my parents basement.

Big City Chris Visits Country Girl Debra

Chris, as in Chris Phillips the person who constantly agitates me on face book came for a visit to the “burg”, as in Rowlesburg, week end before last.  Chris acts like he doesn’t like me but he is totally fascinated with me, as most people are.  He couldn’t just say he was coming to Rowlesburg to visit me so he came up with all these lame excuses of things he wanted to do with other people. I had Justin do a photo shoot of the day so I had proof that Chris actually lowered his self to hang out with me in Rowlesburg. 

The day began with Rob, Justin, and Chris making Rob’s hot pepper relish. I hate hot peppers, so this was not about me but I did have Justin take a few pics.  This was the day before Rob fell totally ill and ended up in the hospital for a week, which will be a blog later.  If you want to know how to make hot pepper relish ask Rob because I could care less.

Then it was off to lunch at the Thirsty Bear. I had chicken strips and cheese sticks, Chris and Justin had the special meatball hoagie.  Cassie got a sandwich and her and Justin shared deep fried pickles and cheese sticks. I made Chris get a pic with Brandy.

 

A must stop in Rowlesburg is Barretts’s Antiques and Primitives. Chris and Justin think they are pioneer folks with their hunting, fishing and canning so I knew that Chris would like Barrett’s Shoppe. I go there for decorating ideas and items to help decorate the house in Rowlesburg.  Rob tries to keep me from going there but as everyone knows I don’t listen to Rob or anyone else. 

Target practice was next on the agenda for the day. Chris and Justin made me stay home and dog sit Buster and Maya because they say that me and guns together are scary, even for them. So off Chris, Cassie and Justin went to Bell Hill with an arsenal of weapons to target practice. I think I am perfectly capable of safely shooting guns.  Justin just has some kind of hang up because I like to act out scenes from movies like Dirty Harry and Terminator. So I am not in any of the target pics either. I was really looking forward to shooting Chris’s automatic assault weapon.

 

Chris and Co. returned to the house and we decided to hit the meadow so the dogs could play in the river and meadow. Justin built a fire. I have no idea why but he did. I sat by the fire and watched the dogs in the river and gave everyone advice on life, which I know a lot about.

  Chris and I had our best friends on face book formal photo taken, possibly for a Christmas card together. I think we look happy, maybe a little fake but good enough for a Christmas card together. 

 

 A day in Rowlesburg is not a day in Rowlesburg without a trip to Cool Springs for peanut butter milkshakes.  I’ve tried to tell Chris that you can get anything you want at Cool Springs, kind of like “Alice’s Restaurant”.

 

 Chris never listens to me so of course he was surprised that not only could you get a peanut butter milk shake, but everything from a foot long hot dog with the works to chicken poop by the ton.

 

100 Things I'm Not Going To Miss About School

1. Opening Day Meeting At PHS  2. Opening Day Picnic at PHS  3. Opening Day Grade Level Meetings 4. Beginning of the Year Staff Meeting  5. Going to School a week early to open up my classroom (unpaid) 6. Getting up early  7  Unpacking my room  8. In service meetings   9.  Insincere welcome back comments from colleagues  10. Sign in sheets  11. The question, "Did you have a nice summer?"  12. Cleaning out cabinets  13. Cleaning out my desk  14.  Counting out the million back to school forms for the kids  15.  The list of things I'm suppose to do before the kids come  16. Just one more staff meeting when I need to be in my classroom  17. Putting forms and books on the kid's desk  18. Trying to figure out what to wear  19. Reading all the polices on line, like "how to handle vomit" 20. Getting up and trying to do something with my hair at 6 in the morning  21. Trying to remember everything I need for the day at 6 in the morning  22. Hearing the alarm go off  23. Listening to administrators  24. Pretending like I'm listening to an administrator  25. Pretending like I'm paying attention during teacher's meetings  26. Trying to refrain from making a comment at a meeting when an administrator says something dumb  27. Trying to  refrain from making a comment when a teacher says something dumb  28. Being semi nice at 7 o'clock in the morning 29. Signing in a W on a sign in sheet, like people don't notice when I'm absent, especially an entire classroom full of kids 30. The ridiculous forms that end up in my mailbox  31. Putting on makeup before I'm awake  32. Answering Rob's questions before I am a wake  33. Lessons plans  34. Extended day meetings on Mondays  35. One more thing to teach 36. Scrubbing my classroom floor. 37. Not being able to go to the bathroom 38.  No toilet paper when I finally get to the bathroom 39. No paper towels when I finally get into the bathroom  40. The toilet not being bolted to the floor in the bathroom  41. Making copies  42.  Broken copiers  43. Lice checks  44. Being coughed on 45. cleaning up vomit  46. grading papers  47. bus duty  48. lunch duty  49. recess duty 50. inside recess duty  51. bag lunches 52. no lunch  53. short lunches  54. eating quickly 55. cleaning off my desk  56. cleaning my room  57. averaging grades  58. doing midterms  59. doing report cards  60. lunch count 61. attendance  62. collecting forms 63. putting forms in alphabetical order 64. fund raisers  65. substitute plans when I'm sick  66. begging for a day off when a family member dies  67. working late 68. grading papers on week nights late  69. giving up  my weekends to do school work 70. flu and cold season  71. tattling  72. teacher clothes  73. teacher holiday clothes  74. cleaning off my vehicle on snowy mornings  75. Trying to make it across the ice packed parking lot to the front door  76. Wearing  an ID tag  77.  Fire drills  78. Someone trying to tell me how to teach who hasn't taught for 30 years 79. Waiting for someone to decide whether to have school on snow days  80.  2 hr delays  81. Conferences  82. Meetings  83. Memos  84. The statement,  "The county office said"  85. Not being allowed to have an opinion  86. Someone throwing up on my desk  87. Faculty Senate Meetings 88. Buckwheat Week at KES  89. No place to park  90. Cleaning up after school parties  91. Listening to other teachers tell you how great they are  92. Training sessions  93. Snow day packets  94. Surveys  95. Announcements  96. School bus rides to anywhere  97. Team meetings  98. Anyone who thinks they are a specialists 99. Textbook trainings  100.  Did I mention administrators