Surviving a Tsunami

It is days like this when it is quiet, dark, stormy and I am by myself that it hits me. The immensity of the wave that hit me. The wave that took over my life and washed away my family, and in its destruction left me with a debris field of broken dreams, legal nightmares, heart ache and financial ruin. There are still mornings just before full consciousness of awakening that I forget and look at the sun streaming in the window and I think about calling David or visiting Gary. It is then that I start to sink into the dark, cold waters and have to remind myself to swim, to breath, to take one more stroke towards the surface. Maybe the Tsunami would have been easier to handle had it been one massive wave but for three years it kept coming, day after day, another wave threatening to push me back under. They were all washed out, one by one, for one reason or another, my husband, then one brother after the other. What remained for me was in ruins an instead of a helping hand to pull me to shore, I was approached by sharks waiting to attack, waiting to take what little was left and finish me off. It seemed I floated for days in the cold, murky water, fighting each wave, looking for a hand. I would swim towards shore only to be pushed back further into the ocean with the next wave. Could no one see me drowning? Did anyone care? Could they not see the sharks circling around me making an already potentially deadly situation even more deadly? It has rained most of the night and day. There is a flood warning. The sky is black. The waves are choppy and growing. So the next few weeks will tell. Will anyone reach out a hand or will the sharks win? I am getting tired of fighting the waves.

Thy Will Be Done

I was going to post on face book but decided to blog instead. There was just a knock at the door, another registered letter to sign for from JoAnne's attorney. I once again got that sickening feeling and a flush of anger that so often takes over when I have to deal with her and her lies. I decided to not open the package of legal jargon and instead write and calm my soul.

My initial thought is always, does she really think she is going to get by with this?  Does she forget that my friends and I know how she treated Gary, especially the last year of his life?  Does she not realized I documented the last 24 hours of his life, from his bedside, and her total lack of compassion, concern and help in making him comfortable? Does she not realize that we have pieced together that during his last chemo treatment she was going through his personal emails, bank accounts, and records.

While my friends and I changed his bed, tried to feed him fluids, wiped his lips with a moist sponge, and dropped morphine drops into his mouth, she shopped on E-bay.  Gary once told me that she was so difficult and hard to reason with that he would go out into the backyard and break down and cry.  I knew it was bad but not that bad. Yet, he stayed married and took care of her financially.

The frustration I have felt dealing with her for the last two years is insurmountable. I can't imagine the decades that he endured it. I asked him "why" he did it on one of his final days? He said it was a husband's duty. Gary was a much better person than me. David was too. I admit it. My tears still fall daily because I can't call and talk to them and hear their laughter. I want to mourn for them but every day there is another knock on the door, another document to copy, phone call to make, notes to take, e-mail to answer.

I think, how could any lawyer, even a poor attorney, not see through her? My mind turns to Casey Anthony's legal team hugging her, cheering and celebrating her and their victory. They had just legally maneuver the freedom of a young mother who duct taped her daughter's mouth, killed her and left her lifeless body in a ditch to rot.  It is a game to attorneys. They don't care about the truth or fairness nor justice. Winning, power and money are their Gods.

Someday soon I will begin the book and in great detail I will document the last 24 hours of Gary's life and the hell that followed for me over the next year dealing with the incompetence of America's legal system, greedy evil people and others who just sit by and watch.

The last year has hardened me and made me acutely aware that there is evil in this world, that there are evil people. I have to admit I was once totally naïve to this concept. I thought if you were patient enough that you could eventually talk sense into anyone. I don't believe that any more. I know for a fact that evil is everywhere now. It sits beside me in church. It is my neighbor. A family member. The person I am standing behind in the grocery store. Sad but true. All you have to do is watch the news.

Until, now, this battle has been mine alone to fight but I am passing the touch on to someone younger. Someone who hasn't been worn down by her day after day for two years. She and her attorney threaten me but I will not be silenced. The facts are on documents, the notes are taken, the witnesses exist, the court hearing is recorded, the book will be written and vengeance will be mine.

Not Keeping My Mouth Shut, So Sue Me

On Wednesday, August 6, Mom wasn't feeling well. A care giver thought Mom may have a UTI so she checked at the Rowlesburg clinic about having a urine culture done. Mom hadn't been seen there in a year so it couldn't be done there. By Friday, August 8, Mom was passing clots. The care giver doing the weekend shift was concerned but Rick and someone in the medical profession decided that Mom could wait to be evaluated the following week when a home health care nurse came to the house. Sometime between 5 and 7AM on Saturday, Mom was found in a pool of blood in her bed passing large clots. The care giver tried to call Rick, who demanded he be medical power of attorney and also demands the care givers call him before any decisions are made, wasn't answering his phone. This is typical weekend behavior for him. Many times telling care givers not to call him from Friday through Monday. The care giver knew he was camping on the Meadow. She left Mom and Dad alone and drove to the Meadow. She found Rickey sleeping in his camper and his phone was in his truck. When she explained the situation and said your Mom needs an ambulance. His response was.....Äre you sure?" She drove back to the house, called the ambulance and helped load Mom on the ambulance. Rick did take 45 minutes out of his busy schedule to sign Mom into Preston Memorial but left her alone to return to camping on the meadow. My Mom will soon be 86. Is basically deaf and was hemorrhaging. It is difficult for her to hear questions or answer them. At some point, the care giver called me and asked me if I knew what was going on. Of course I didn't. I became frantic. I am not allowed to call Rickey per his request and orders from a state trooper he called so I began calling anyone and everyone to find out about my Mom. At one point, PMH reported she wasn't there at the same time Mon General was reporting she wasn't there. I was in tears. I called Justin. He started calling and in a round about way found out she was being transported to Mon General. Where was Rickey? He was picnicking on the Meadow. He had told Justin to check on Mom because he had promised to teach one of Linda's friends how to kayak. So that was more important than Mom. I admit I was livid. I was in tears figuring out how to get to Mom financially and physically. He was 12 miles from Kingwood. I was over 800 miles away in Florida. Justin and Cassie went to the hospital and spent the evening with Mom. I called. The care giver had driven Dad to the hospital. Rick was still on the Meadow. I talked to Mom and Dad. They told me not to come home. I knew I needed to get home. I had basically already made up my mind when the care giver called me early Monday morning and said "Your Mom had a rough night and I think you need to come home." Jim gave me the money and loaned me his car and said go. I drove 14 hours and arrived in Mom's room at around 1:30 AM Tuesday. I spent most of the next three days with Mom or sleeping at Justin's and Cassie's house. My friends came to the hospital to visit Mom. Thursday the doctor told me that Mom would probably be released Friday. Thursday a care giver had brought Dad to the hospital and I took him to Cassie and Justin's so he could see their house and visit with Justin and their dogs. While I was at the hospital on Thursday instead of Rick visiting his mother, he came to Rowlesburg to stir shit. He involved the Sheriff, Barb Banister, and even left a message on Connie's ex- husband's phone. Crazy, yes. I assume he is or one of the complainers about dog food. Pathetic. He reported an AC stolen to the sheriff. An AC that my Dad bought and loaned to Connie from the rental house, that Rick knew was at Connie's house. The deputy that came to Connie's house indicated they are sick of Rick's lame complaints. So why does everyone keep protecting Rick? Why would Barb Banister not admit that Rick is behind the dog food complaint? Why won't the Sheriff tell Rick enough is enough. Why do the neighbors on Oak Street cater to Rick? I am sick and tired of him and his BS but I am not shutting up, so sue me.

Defining Moment

I think we all have them in life. Those defining moments when a lesson is etched in stone or mini lessons of life finally all come together and solidify and become part of our soul. Mine seem to come on ordinary days, doing ordinary things. Today one such moment came on my trip to Daytona to renew car registration. I talked Tabitha, Jim's daughter-in-law into riding along with me. We had finished the business of my car registration and was headed west on International Speedway Blvd. in Daytona. We were stopped in a line of cars at a traffic light next to a Krispy Crème Doughnut Shoppe ,when out of the corner of my eye, I spotted what looked like a homeless couple sitting on the grass under a palm tree. I didn't want to stare but then I also didn't want to ignore them, as if they didn't exist. They also caught me eye and the man waved. It was so hot and humid. The AC in the car was running on full blast and in contrast, they were sitting out in the elements beside a hot asphalt paved parking lot. The man was occasionally wiping his forehead and the women was hanging her head to shield it from the sun. I wasn't sure what to do. Should I pull into the parking lot and ask them if they would like a drink? Should I stop staring at them. Am I making them feel uncomfortable? Maybe they aren't homeless?  Maybe their car is broken down? Quickly things ran through my head but before I could act on anything, the light turned and traffic moved. I guess they just looked miserable sitting on the ground in the heat. The woman was extremely thin. When confronted with a situation like this I always think of the song "What if God Was One of Us?" I've thought about the "Women in Black" this past week and how many folks went up to her offering her food, drink and money but wondered how many people would drive by this couple today and offer nothing. How do we decide who is worthy of help? How do we decide when to stop? What if God is one of us on any given day? Humility also came to mind and that verse "but for the grace of God." Who are we to judge?  What is their story? So I sit here tonight and wonder.... Who were they? What is their story and why didn't I pull over? So what is the defining moment here? I should have pulled over.

Still looking for an answer

I just have to publicly ask myself a few questions? Why would a mayor and council favor a chronic complainer over a well established elderly couple in Rowlesburg? The chronic complainer has lived in Rowlesburg less than a decade or so and contributed little to the town. My parents have lived on Oak Street almost 60 plus years. My Dad always worked and my Mom was a stay at home housewife/mother. They taught Sunday School, volunteered at school and for community activities. My Dad was a scout master and my Mom was a UMYF leader. My Dad was a councilman and a park commissioner. They both volunteered countless hours to the Rowlesburg Park and town. The chronic complainer has made my elderly parents miserable with her bogus complaints and evil antics, yet the government of the town continues to cater to her and her demands. Last week she allowed folks to do what she complains about parking on the yellow, parking on the sidewalk, etc. I guess it was OK since she was reaping the fruits of free, charity labor. My brother was not allowed to park on Oak Street to visit his parents when he was dying from cancer because of her yellow lines and the other self proclaimed Christians on council supporting her. Why?  Why were the people last week allowed to break the laws but a man dying of cancer is shown no mercy? I have heard this women is a Christian. I don't believe it. I am more inclined to believe what someone else told me which is ... she uses God/Religion to con people to do things and get things. She is a church floator. Floating from one church to another, getting members to feel sorry for her and give her things, until they figure her out and then she moves on. That is not my definition of a Christian. My parents have belong to one church, Christ United Methodist, on Main Street in Rowlesburg, their entire marriage. She surrounds herself with no trespassing signs, security cameras, fences, and gates and blames others for her actions. I have talked to others she has manipulated and scammed. I have heard her husband described as a handicapped veteran. He may be a vet but he was not injured or wounded or handicapped because of his service. This is a total misrepresentation and a dishonor to those vets that were truly handicapped due to war injuries. They are system users and manipulators waiting for the next con or handout, so why would a town, reward such behavior and turn its back on my parents?  Any ideas because I just don't get it unless as my Dad said "Birds of a feather flock together."

I Just Don't Get It

     I was going to post something on face book today but I could hear Justin say "Mom that is not what face book is for." "Your posts on face book are way too long." So here I am back a year later at my blog because once again, I have too much to say for one post.
     I don't get face book any more.  It started out being a social network of your friends and family. I got that part but then came, well everything, and I mean everything. Photos, more photos, opinions, more opinions, politics, religion, what we had for dinner, people's problems, venting, recipes, advertising, selfies, invitations, jokes. So a friend and I were discussing the fact that we are pretty much getting over face book. You might ask me why or maybe not but I will tell you. One, I don't know what to say any more because I don't want another restraining order, the state police called, or being accused of being sarcastic. Two, I don't get why I have to restrain myself while I have to read everyone else's posts slamming the President, who yes I voted for not once but twice. I realize I was the only person in Rowlesburg with an Obama sign in my yard and probably the only person in WV who voted for Obama but HELLO, it is still America and he is still ALL of our President and a comet has not destroyed the earth and lots of people are still at Disney World and the beach. Moving right on ..... I don't get it when a person posts a highly religious post and then their next post is wanting to ban all help to poor people. Does anyone remember that guy named Jesus? Maybe we should quit blaming everyone else for our problems. I for one admit,  I need to loose weight but as I write this I am munching on a bag of Ruffles. As for hurting someone's feelings on face book, some people's feelings need to be hurt and some people need to be insulted, and people definitely need to speak up for what is right. I just read online where the room mate of the last shooter knew something was wrong but didn't say anything. Why? Possibly feeling it was none of his business or he may hurt someone's feelings. If you are being an asshole, mistreating an elderly person, child, or animal, being a bully ...... guess what ????? you need to be insulted and your feelings need to be hurt. If you are a drug dealer, a greedy, corrupt politician or wall street investor, guess what????  If you are a danger to yourself or others, maybe someone should speak up and try and get you help. Moving right along. I don't try to hurt people's feelings but here are a few things I am fed up with ......... using face book as a political forum but never posting anything social. Remember the social days of it not being polite to discuss politics or religion. I don't care if you post positive religious things but tell me about your vacation and family, too.  Politics, at least make it the facts, and your opinion, don't just re post unofficial garbage.  By the way, Rowlesburg, seriously, thanks for not tearing down my Obama sign because I know many of you wanted to but out of respect you didn't. I miss the fun days on face book where I said something, David said something, and everyone else added their opinion. That is social networking. Now, I worry about what I am going to say or not say, read a recipe, look at someone's selfie, and read a million re posted positive little poster things posted by people who just said America is dead because Obama is President. America is NOT dead. You can still buy Twinkies, go to the movies, vote, get a boob job, go to church, say dumb things, get a free education, and say what you want, even if it is dumb. There is still welfare, disability benefits, food stamps and lazy people. Seriously, what has really changed? I think maybe we should spend more time working, spending quality time with our family and friends, reading to a child, educating ourselves, volunteering, insulting people who need to be insulted and less time on face book. I, for one, need to spend less time on face book, pinterest, eating chips, taking naps, and wasting time in general. Well, I hope I didn't insult anyone with my blog post today but ............ well have a nice day any way.