Stop Rewarding Bad Behavior

We spent the day hitting many of the consignment and Goodwill stores in the Ormond Beach/Daytona Beach area. I like shopping at these stores for a few reasons.  One, I find it fun. Two, it is cheap entertainment. Three, you can get really good deals. For example, brand new, never worn clothes for $1 and at these prices Rob lets me buy anything I want. The fourth reason is these stores sponsor good causes like animal shelters, homes for homeless families, helping people in need, battered women and kids and other worthy causes. I am way passed spending money on designer clothes at malls when you can get the same designer clothes for almost nothing. We picked up Ralph Lauren, Orvis, L.L. Bean, Izod, Columbia, Lands End, Caribbean Joe, etc, some with the original tags still on them.  So what does any of this have to do with the title of this blog post. After shopping, I rested my feet for a few and turned on the computer and up flashed, guess who?  Casey Anthony and her payment demands for an interview. My blood pressure rose. I personally do not want Casey Anthony to make a red cent off of her bad behavior. I am  sick of people making money and being rewarded for bad behavior. Our society is crazy at times. I am sick of hearing kids say"What do I get if I'm good?"  I'm sick of hearing adults say, "What is in it for me?" I am sick of people being paid for interviews and photos when they do something wrong. So what can one person do?  A lot. DO NOT WATCH, READ, BUY ANYTHING CASEY ANTHONY WILL BENEFIT FROM.  DO NOT SUPPORT ANY COMPANY OR MEDIA OUTLET THAT PAYS HER ANYTHING. People need to start supporting worthy causes and quit rewarding bad behavior and companies that support bad behavior. It sickens me that she sold Caylee's photos and videos for $200,000.00 before her arrest.  Money talks.  Let your money talk at places like Goodwill.

Just Read It

Honestly, I have no idea why everyone is so surprised that I am retiring.  I have important things to do. The most important is to take care of my parents. That is going to keep me busy most of the time, but I do have some other things planned as well. Cassie and I are going to take Spanish lessons. I have always wanted to set at the counter at Cool Springs and speak in a different language. When I was a kid, workers use to come into the Comsat Station in Etam to work, have lunch at Cool Springs  and speak to each other in their native languages. I thought it was neat  and I knew right then and there that I some day would order a foot long hot dog in Spanish. I want to do some scrap booking. I have no idea why, but that is one thing you are suppose to say when you retire. I'm going to read magazines and books. I'm going to bake and cook things I see on face book, and that come to my e-mail. I might hang out at the post office in Rowlesburg and wait for the mail to be put up for the day. I'll probably take my Mom and Dad to Cool Springs and share my wisdom with anyone who will listen. Then there is the writing each day. The face book comments, my blog and a book or two. You think I would run out of things to say but so far so good, or maybe bad depending on who you are.  Clean out the attic, maybe. I actually forget what all is up there but there is a box or two of dishes from the RVFD dime pitch that Justin just had to have. Drop a few pounds. Walk every day. Make dinner for everyone in the family. Cassie works late. Justin's back in school so I guess I have no excuse. Do my own nails. Decorate for holidays. Make Christmas cookies. Write letters to people. Send cards. Finish Rob's afghan from 1977. Make Margaret do things with me. Do lunch. I could never "do lunch" teaching. Take up painting. Volunteer. Start an advice column. Cassie and I are planning on redecorating Mom and Dad's house.  I know Dad can't wait. I'll probably design a new line of clothing and start a line of merchandise.  I want to brand my name, being that I am so famous.  I want to get one of those bronze historic plaques for our house that says "Debra slept here". "a lot". I might hang out with Julie some at Big Bear. I could possibly have a political career or modeling. Really the possibilities are endless for me.

Candles Burning Out Way Too Early

Amy Winehouse died today.  I liked her music. I loved her voice. Amy had addictions. Many of us have addictions. We really don't talk about addictions much but maybe we should. Addictions are tied very closely to mental health.  Maybe that is why we don't talk about them. I think we would probably have fewer addictions if people were mentally healthy. If we had few addictions, fewer people would die from their addictions. It isn't always famous people who die from their addictions.  It is everyday, ordinary people of all walks of life and all ages. So why do we have addictions? Everyone has a reason and there are many different reasons.  I have a very addictive personality, and have had my share of addictions at different times in my life. That really is the first step for people to admit they are addicted. Not an easy first step. Sometimes people die from their addictions before they even admit to themselves that they have an addiction. It took me years to admit I had any addictions and came at a rather late age. Actually, it just kind of came out one day at my psychiatrist's office. I said something like "My addictions are a full time job." By the way, most people think I'm kidding when I say I see a psychiatrist. I'm not. Some of my coworkers even thought I made up the story to go shopping. Sorry, not a made up story to go shopping.  The older I get the more I think, if we were all mentally healthier less bad things would happen. Yet we are more afraid of admitting our weaknesses and addictions than we are of watching each other slowly kill ourselves. Amy Winehouse was talented, intelligent, witty, shy and a drug addict. So why the drug addict? Like many of us, she found it hard dealing with life and all of its complications with out something to take the edge off. I found it strange that our society will almost accept drug use whether it be alcohol, heroin, caffeine, nicotine or marijuana before it will accept getting mental health. Why do we find it shocking that some one gets counseling or has mental health issues? Surprisingly when I open up about seeing someone others at times will say they do too or have seen some one at a difficult time in their life. I think back over the last few years to people lost to me that I will never see again, talk to or enjoy their talents, sadly, maybe, they could have been saved with the right treatment, counselor or doctor.  Our modern society is crazy, fast paced, demanding and very trying at times. I love my psychiatrist.  He keeps me grounded, focused and gives me the skills I need to de-stress, relax, reflect and accept life's challenges.  My family and best friends know I see someone and are very accepting of what I need to be a healthy me. I wish everyone had family and friends like mine. I wish Amy had found a doctor like mine before it was too late. Encourage anyone in your life to get help before their candle burns out way too early.

Farmer's Market

Justin wasn't too impressed with the Cabana Boy post and I think Rob was a little upset so I'm doing this lame Farmer's Market post today. I didn't really even want to go to the Farmer's Market at Flagler.

 

I was hoping that I would sleep in this morning but when I woke at 6:30 I knew I didn't have much of an excuse. I don't like looking at vegetables or fruits and Rob and Justin can do it for hours.

 

    

 The only bright spot in going to this Farmer's Market is that they have other things.

    My first purchase was a drink. A frozen, non sugar, lemonade made with fresh lemons. Rob made me share. Then I had to look at olives with Rob and Justin.  I hate olives. Rob can talk about olives all day.

I scanned ahead to see if there was anything else.  Baked goods. I would have loved to have gotten something with cinnamon, sugar, and fattening but I was good and got a spinach phylo, cheese triangle. On to jewelry.

There is neat jewelry at this farmer's market, which is why I went. I make Rob think it was because I wanted to spend the morning with him but it was really the jewelry.  One dealer was back this year, called Twisted Sisters.  Their jewelry is neat and I got their card.  Another idea from Justin is these photos. I purchased a beach bracelet. Cassie told me not to wear it in the water.  I'm not sure if that has to do with sharks being attracted to jewelry or that I might ruin the bracelet.  We learned that tidbit of information last night on TV that sharks are attracted to metallic colors.  I finally figured out why Rob is always pushing those cheap metallic bathing suits.  Justin and Cassie bought kettle corn and a wooden fish key holder to hang on the wall at their Rowlesburg house.

 Oh yea and we did buy an avocado, I think it was an avocado.

Found My Cabana Boy

For all of you who thought I was crazy the last few years in my pursuit of a cabana boy, well all I can say is my mission has been successful.  It started out as a typical night out at Peppers, our local Mexican restaurant, with Cassie, Justin, Deb, Allen, Brad and Mary. I was looking rather cute in my clearance rack, purple Gap skirt and my $2 rack Bealls top and sporting my tan and flip flops. We were at our table eating our so delicious seafood fajitas when I spotted him. The cabana boy of my dreams. He was sitting across from our table with two young, very attractive girls.  Enough about them. He had that Greek God, surfer boy look.  I began to tremble. Mary asked me what was wrong. I told her that I had found him. Rob rolled his eyes and shoved another fajita in his mouth. I, of course, had to explain to everyone about my find. The next few minutes entailed how I would approach him. A few seconds later our waiter approached our table and asked if he could get anything for us. I told him that I would like the boy seating at that table. The waiter looked at me like I was on perhaps medicinal marijuana. I informed him I was serious. At this point Allen suggest I walk over to his table and comment on his large burrito. Mary thought I should just walk over and suggest that I strike up one of my friendly conversations, Rob shoved another fajita into his mouth.  Brad, who cares what Brad said. I gathered up my nerve and walked over to the table, sat across from him and introduced myself to him, his wife and their friend. He showed me his golden wedding band.  Such a trivial little thing when one has found pure perfection in a cabana boy. We chatted. laughed and to prove to everyone that this is not a delusional experience. I HAVE PROOF.  This is a photo of my new cabana boy Brandon and me.  My life is so looking up. Did I mention how cute I looked?

BRAD

Brad and Mary came over tonight for a visit.  Brad and Mary as in, use to live in Seton court, but sold their unit to Julie and Mark and moved over to a house on Ocean Terrace. Brad is Chris's Dad who is my facebook friend.   Brad is not my facebook friend. Mary reads my facebook posts to Brad while he is drinking his coffee in the morning. Brad hates it, which makes it even more special to me.  Brad has an insurance firm in Morgantown and he is always trying to give me advice, which I never take but he keeps giving it, like I care.  Brad and Mary have a really nice house with a really nice yard, in ground pool, hot tub, and Tiki Bar. I'm not allowed to go there when Brad is there.  I have no idea why but he is going home on Thursday, so that is good because I can then hang out at the pool with Mary.  Brad golfs everyday like my brother, David.  Maybe that is why I find him annoying, too, is because he golfs everyday like David and is never available to wait on me and Mary. So, Brad came over to our house tonight.  First mistake was I was nice to him and asked him if he would like a drink or anything. One full bottle of Jack Daniels later, Brad went home. The only good thing about Brad is he gets my sarcasm, which is usually directed at him when he is around. The nice thing about tonight's visit was Brad, Rob and Justin all went out in the yard while Mary, Cassie and I stayed in the house. Justin came in because the mosquitoes were biting and got a dryer sheet to rub on him to keep the mosquitoes off. Mary told Justin to rub some on Brad so he wouldn't need to get a shower tonight. I wasn't touching that comment. Brad thinks he knows more than me sometimes, which we all know that can't be possible. Anyway, I think tomorrow I'll call Brad and see if he wants to come over and visit again tomorrow night. We would go over there, but I'm not allowed when Brad's home, remember. I can't wait until Thursday.

Sometimes I think

Sometimes I think my blog should be flashier.  Justin is coming down and I will get him to show me some things I have forgotten about making it better or just never paid attention to him the first time around. I've been checking out other peoples blogs and many seem to be craft, food, and family oriented. Justin keeps telling me I need photos and recipes but I really just like writing. Maybe it is my generation, which is quickly becoming the largest population group in the United States.  I know we are middle age and don't look that great on the beach but we were interesting and fun long before facebook and blogging.  Something happened to my son on the way to adulthood, he became the person my parents tried to raise me to be. He likes canning, saving money, hates hippies, majored in business, raises a garden, likes country music, wears boots instead of flip flops, wears camouflage and hunts. I have no idea what happened. Maybe I shouldn't have let my parents babysit those first few formative years. Who knows what they told him. So here I am listening to Lady Gaga, wearing my tie-dye  flip flops, writing my blog that has no high tech add-ons, just words, waiting on  Justin to arrive. He will change my music, make me listen to songs I don't want to. He will talk to me about organic food while I drink my Diet Pepsi and eat candy. He will take over my kitchen. He will make fun of Midnight, tell me to get up, go to bed, move, sit down and get him a drink. He will make fun of my clothes and flip flops. Roll his eyes, sigh and give that "look" to his Dad like "can't you control her".  The truth of the matter is I can't wait for him to get here and he can't wait to get here and my parents can't wait until we both get home.

The Girl With the Balloons

It was a beautiful day at the beach today, warm, sunny, calm waves for swimming and pleasant for napping. As I awake from my naps at the beach, I also take a look at the ocean, the sky and the people around me. Upon awaking from one of my naps today a girl caught my eye. She was holding a young baby, two balloons and a cell phone. She seemed out of place. I watched her. She wasn't dressed for the beach and what was it with the balloons. I tried to guess but soon laid my head back down and closed my eyes, until I heard a voice. It was the balloon girl.  She wanted to know if I would take her pictures with the balloons.  There was a yellow and pink balloon on strings entwined in her fingers. I thought at first  they most be for the enjoyment of the baby on her hip, but she didn't even mention him when she asked for the photo to be taken. At one point, she even said it was OK if he wasn't in the photo. I really thought that was strange.  After I took the first photo, I asked her if she minded if I took a couple of more photos just to make sure that that at least one print was what she wanted. She said that would be fine. I took her phone to her so she could she if the photos were appropriate.  Words flooded with emotion started to flow from her. She said that the balloons were for a friend in Georgia that had just lost her twins at 26 weeks. The doctors weren't sure why but the twins had stopped growing and thriving. They were girls. A group of friends and family were having a memorial balloon launch in Georgia today and she couldn't be there so she had come to the beach at Ormond to release her balloons with her 6 month old son. I told her I was sorry and that I was a twin. I told her that my baby boy was 24 years old. She asked me if I could remember when he was 6 months old.  I assured her that I could and that time would fly by quickly. She wanted the photo to send to her friend in Georgia. She wanted her to know how much she cared about her during her loss and sorrow. We exchanged a few more words and she walked a few feet a way and put her head down. I watched her look up to the sky and slowly release the pink and yellow balloon. I watched the balloons float slowly skyward and be picked up by the sea breeze. I looked at her as she kissed her son's head and then reached into the water and anointed her son's head with the water. It was as if she were baptizing him with the life giving sea water to protect him from the sun and any other dangers that may come his way. I turned and begin to watch the balloons accession up toward the white, fluffy clouds and continued to watch until they become a glint of silver in the sky, reflecting the afternoon sun. The balloons disappeared into the heavens. I turned to look for the girl and her son. They were gone too.  For some reason this brief exchange gave me hope after the past two weeks.  It gave me hope that there are still good mothers and mothers who embrace others and encircle them with love when they loose a child.  There is still good in the world and some days it walks right up to you when you least expect it.

Trivial Tuesday

I really wish I had something intellectual or insightful to share today. I just don't. Kind of a lazy day today and a day of waiting.  Waiting for Tara to have her baby and Justin to arrive this week. So I am sitting here watching Jeopardy with Rob like my grandparents use to do and waiting for the dryer to stop. The title of today's blog comes from things like Jeopardy, Trivial Pursuits and the trivial little things we let bother us and sometimes control our lives. You can actually survive without knowing trivia and certainly doesn't help with child birth. Rob is good with history and sports trivia.  I'm better with science and literature. I use to be the Queen of trivial little things bothering me but not so much any more. So now that everyone is thinking what little things  bother us, I'll force myself to share.  These are the little trivial things that bothered me today. The girl at Walgreen's that messed up all my coupons, the rain shower at the beach, Rob waking me up from my nap opening a can of pop, and dirty laundry. Trivial things become even more trivial when really important things happen like waiting for the birth of your first grandson, waiting for the result of your child's MRI, waiting to hear about the results of your child's job interview, or hearing the news of the death of a loved one. I try and stop myself on Trivial Tuesdays and every other day to let trivial things ruin my day. Life is short, too short to waste on trivia.

In Search of Greatness On Sunday Morning

In search of greatness many of us find true greatness is found within the soul. Although many of us, especially in our early years, think that greatness lies in material wealth, faraway foreign lands, or exciting adventures, with aging many of us find it is within ourselves. I was having a discussion with my twin brother, David, the other day and though we rarely agree on anything, we did on this point. God would not place human beings in situations where happiness is only obtainable through material wealth, great travels, or exciting adventures. Could it not be possible that happiness and God both reside in our core being, our souls? Do we spend our life times searching for something, that actually resides within us? I have come to the realization that we create our own happiness with acceptance of what is important and true greatness. I have not come to this conclusion alone, but rather with the help of others. The older I get the less I need material things. One of my pleasures of not working professionally any more will be the freedom to not worry about what I'm wearing, to not have to adhere to someone's "dress code", that many times forbid flip flops. I love not the designer labels but the clearance rack. There is such liberation in being happy from within, knowing that material things do not define a person.  In this past decade, in my circle of life, it has become perfectly clear that all of us age and not so gracefully at times.  That there is no fountain of youth and at the end the soul is all that remains intact. Yet, do we nurture our souls they way we should, or do we spend more time acquiring goods to try and fill our souls? Is it not true that many of us wish we knew at 20 or 30 what we know now?  Do we find ourselves wishing we could spontaneously relay to our children the knowledge we have gathered over the generations so that they may do it differently. I find myself in my 5th decade of life spending more time soul searching, call it meditation or praying or even trying to come to terms with the oneness of the universe. I have found family to be much more important in the last year to me than the things money can buy. We have a house hold full of things passed down from previous generations that are that, just things. I look forward to family time. I feel that true greatness is in all of us, is our God given talents, our families, our friendship, our faith, and our abilities to reach out and help others. I think that perhaps the world would be better if we each concentrated on our souls and talents and how we could best help each other with what God has given each of us.

What's for dinner?

The words "What's for dinner?" can send me over the edge and has at times. For years, I would barely be out of bed and Rob would ask, "What's for dinner?" We hadn't had breakfast yet or lunch or gone to work or gotten dressed but he was asking, "What's for dinner?"  For many years, I was nice about it and would reply with an appropriate answer but I few years ago something happened.  It was probably a cold, snowy, winter morning when school should have been cancelled and wasn't and I was not looking forward to getting out of bed, let alone anything else, when Rob said those three words "WHAT'S FOR DINNER?"  A volcanic fire of words erupted from my mouth and my body trembled with near earthquake like rage.  Rob has never asked again but we have made some compromises in our house with the menu planning, purchasing of food, putting food away, and preparing food. The following is not for the faint of heart.  First I like eating.  I just don't like getting to the place where you actually eat. I know I have a degree in Home Economics but that is beside the point. I was more into the child care, interior design, and fashion merchandising part of my degree. With rain in the forecast, we decided today would be the day I dread. Menu planning and GROCERY SHOPPING. We got out cook books and I went on line for dinner ideas. I'm not sure how you can eat for over 50 years and can't come up with 5 dinner ideas but I blame it on menopause. I actually blame everything now on menopause, We came or I actually came up with most of the dinner ideas. Then, I admit, I took a nap and Rob made out the grocery list from the menu we made. I have begun taking many naps in the last few years but I also blame this on guess what?  MENOPAUSE. After my nap, we went grocery shopping to Walmart.  I hate grocery shopping. I hate going to Walmart.  It is a little better here than in Kingwood, because I don't run into a million people I know. I always tell Rob he is not allowed to visit at the Walmart in Kingwood, but it never works.  He can turn a shopping trip to Walmart into a class reunion. I don't really like reunions either. The Walmart here is huge and has a McDonalds in it so I counted shopping as my walk for today. Rob and I don't shop alike. I get distracted easily and Rob likes to walk up and down every aisle and look at every item and discuss each item. He loves all the ethnic food sections here so there is even more here that he likes to look at and talk about. I kind of like to wander around the store and head to whatever catches my eye. I also like to basically get in the store and get out.  Rob likes to discuss spices and cooking tips with people. After the ORDEAL OF food selection then it is waiting in line. I hate waiting in line. Tonight I went to the bathroom while Rob checked out. It was raining so I waited and Rob got the car. I hate walking through the parking lot in flip flops when it is raining. I was so exhausted from shopping that we stopped for "to go" on the way home. Once we are home, it is time to unload the car. I help bring in the first bags then I start unpacking the bags while Rob unloads the car. I let Rob put most of the things away, except the candy, since he really needs to know where things are when he starts preparing our meals. While he puts things away I have time to check facebook or write a blog about how difficult my life has become during menopause.

Can there ever be justice for Caylee?

Even if Casey had been proven guilty, I don't feel that there would ever be justice for Caylee.  Is there ever really justice for the dead person, especially a very young and innocent child?  How can there be? The trial is over and the verdict is not guilty, due in most part, probably because of reasonable doubt. Many of us thought and still think she is guilty. The jury did not look at Casey when the verdict was read some are assuming that possibly they, the jury, aren't sure either. Just not enough evidence. I'm here in Florida and the majority of residents here feel that she is guilty. So where does it go from here. She will be sentenced for lying to law enforcement on Thursday, but has already served three years so could possibly go free. Not that I care but how will her parents react to a daughter that was charged with killing their grand daughter, accused her brother and father of sexual abuse, said her mother left the pool ladder up, lied and lied and lied. I still and always will question a mother who can party when her child is "lost".  Casey Anthony was not a good mother. So what now for all of us. One, HOLD ALL PARENTS ACCOUNTABLE!!!!!    Two, OUR SOCIETY needs to stop glamorizing teenage pregnancy, and unwed mothers with TV shows. Three, if anyone sees poor parenting try and INTERVENE IN SOME WAY.  The truth is I've witnessed injustice to children my entire life, not to the degree of the injustice in Caylee's life, but everyday children are born into some very undesirable environments and endure unbearable circumstances. Some parents deny, neglect, and, or abuse their children.  Some parents choose to spend very little quality time with their children. Some parents put their children in dangerous situations, and some of us sit by and do nothing. Flowers and mementos are being placed where Caylee laid in the swamp for months. Some people have driven long distances to see the place her remains were found. Maybe it is time we all become involved before the fact instead of after the fact, when it comes to children. I've heard people say, it is their child therefore it is their business.  If this is true, why are we all so upset about Caylee?  I have also experienced many people who worry about their kids and maybe even their family and friends kids but really could care less about other children, who may need them the most.  So are we all a little guilty when some thing happens to a child? I guess the Anthony family didn't neighbor like we do in my small hometown because wouldn't  a neighbor have noticed that Casey was always home when she was suppose to be at work. I'm pretty sure I would ask someone what they wanted a shovel for and did they need help with something? Maybe if parents thought someone else was watching, cared, and wasn't afraid to get involved things could be different for some children. Let's face it some people have no business being parents. There are irresponsible parents. There are parents, like Casey, who are too busy having fun to be parents. Let's all take our hurt, shock, and anger over this case and use it in a positive way to be there for our children, grand children, and other people's children, also.  Hug your children tonight, and on a final note in Caylee's memory buy nothing, watch nothing, and read nothing that will financially benefit Casey Anthony, instead help a child in need.

Justice for Caylee??????

SATURDAY MORNING:  Rob is happy today that the trial isn't on TV.  I guess he needed a break from my constant commentary on the trial, but I can't help myself.  I have to analyze everything and then give my opinion. Rob refuses to watch it so he can say "Debra, I don't know the facts so I can't discuss it with you."  That really doesn't deter me from continuing my commentary and opinions. Since Rob is out walking, I will share a few with all of you. One, I've decided we are never going to understand what Casey was thinking.  Two, we all seemed surprised about the lies but any fourth grader can tell you people lie.  It happens everyday. Kids lie, adults lie.  I think it is the degree that Casey lies and obviously lies about everything and that she seems to have no remorse. Three, her mother, Cindy, lied to try and save her daughter's life.  That, as a mother, I can understand.  What I can't understand is why Casey just didn't give her daughter to her parents.  They obviously had much of her care anyway. Four, It amazes me how one person can destroy an entire family and hurt so many other people, too. What was she thinking? She threw her entire family under the bus with her. SUNDAY MORNING:  Back to the trial. I watched the prosecution give their first closing remarks and Rob said enough was enough and we headed to the beach so what did I do next.  I sat at the beach for hours watching the waves crash one after another and thought about the trial. I think what none of us can fathom is when our mothers and now us would give our very lives for our children, how could Casey take Caylee's life. I think has our society glamorized women like Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan to the point that young women think drinking and partying all night is real life? Did Casey really think that she could get by with it? I know innocent to proven guilty but I just can't buy the accident in the pool. Why wouldn't she just have told the truth if Caylee had drowned?  Plus why would her father help cover it up? The defense case just has never made any sense to me. I have at times wanted to believe it was an accident because trying to wrap my brain around Casey killing her little girl is just so completely foreign to me. I loved my son before he was born and Rob and I have always enjoyed every minute we can spend with him. I know we weren't teenage parents but Casey did have the support of her parents. I can't believe that  she wouldn't know they would have raised Caylee given the chance. There are times I watch this trial and just want to turn back time for Caylee's sake.  Caylee who will never go to preschool, the prom, walk down the aisel, or have her own children.  George and Cindy have been denied watching their grand daughter grow into a young women and for that matter have been denied any resemblance to a real life at all. Is Casey mentally ill? Is she evil? MONDAY MORNING: Will there ever be justice for Caylee?