One of those days!!!

Have you ever had one of those days when everything and everyone irritated you to no end? Well, today was one of those days. First, it is Monday. I hate Monday. I hate defrosting my car. I hate that there are no parking spaces. I hate the parking lot is like an ice skating rink. Second, the weather is cold and dreary. Third, some of the kids didn't do their homework or snow day packets. AGAIN!!! I am so sick of 30 years of excuses. Please just stop at "I didn't do it." To the student who asked if you are in the hospital is that an OK excuse?  The answer is NO! What do you  think those pull up lap desks are for in a hospital room? Please (for just one day) can everyone stay out of  my room, leave me alone, don't talk to me. I can not be listening and talking to a bunch of adults, who have their own jobs to do, while I'm trying to teach. I'm sorry but the older I get most days I really don't care who is mad at who in Preston County, who got a DUI or who is pregnant. Classrooms are not meant for inside recess. I don't think we have been outside for recess since October. Very irritating. By noon today, I really wish I had worn my tee shirt my brother David got me that says. "I'm surrounded by stupid people". I've had my picture taken with this tee shirt on with more than one administrator. I hate dirty cars that are covered with winter salt and dirt. I hate when I brush up against them. I hate meetings. I hate driving home in a cold, rain in the dark. I found today to be a very irritating day. I think I should probably just stay home on days when I feel irritated, but this time of year I find just having to get out of my warm bed irritating. I find people telling me good morning irritating. I don't want to be nice when I'm irritated. Many people irritate me so I'm irritated most of the day. I was thinking about becoming a greeter at Walmart but the idea of having to greet people irritates me. Thanks for listening ,and have a nice day.

The Rowlesburg Shale Pile

OK,  everyone knows I'm from Rowlesburg and still live here, so I think since occasionally I will be writing and mentioning Rowlesburg in my Blog it will be easier for my Rowlesburg followers and non-Rowlesburg followers to all be on the same page. Today will be a history lesson on the Shale Pile. First, the Shale Pile is a place, and you have to be in a certain generation to understand its history and what it signifies. The Shale Pile is on the Manheim side of the Cheat River Bridge in Rowlesburg. It is Chessie System Railroad property on the right side of the road after directly coming off the bridge. I have made calls and asked different people why it is called the Shale Pile and I can't seem to get an official answer. If anyone reading this blog post knows please comment. Back to the history of this Rowlesburg landmark, actually it is more of a cultural historic landmark of the 1970's and early 1980's. I know everyone is dying to know what the Shale Pile is or was. First, it is a piece of land, rather undescriptive with drive able dirt paths throughout it. I should add drive able for some people. Second, before anyone gets worried, no names, dates, or specific events will be named in this blog. Third, the Shale Pile took on a life of its own during the 70's. Most of my information has come from other people because I rarely went there, The Shale Pile was a gathering place. It is where you went when you were lonely, wanted to have some fun or lots of fun. Our parents called it the "party place". I called my Dad and asked  him why it was called the Shale Pile. He said he does know and didn't remember much about it. That is really good for me, which also means I may still be in the family will. Yes, it was a party place, a parking place, a hanging out place, and yes a getting into trouble place. I'm hoping my Dad has also forgotten about the couple of times that he came to the Shale Pile late at night to drag my butt home. Many people seem to have conveniently forgotten about the Shale Pile. It may be because they are now lawyers, doctors, teachers, in law enforcement, mothers, fathers, grandparents, or just generally responsible adults now. I haven't forgotten. I think the happenings of the Shale Pile would make a great book and I will probably write it someday. The stories of the the Shale Pile are infamous among a certain group of nameless people. When I take people to the Shale Pile now and try to explain it, they just don't seem to get it. I guess it is one of those times and places that you just had to be there.

OK, so I'm not a Princess

Many of you who have really known me since childhood know I'm not a Princess but for you others who may get caught up in my delusions with me I thought I'd better clarify a few things. One, I grew up with three brothers who liked to torture me and my dolls .I grew up with boys so I know how to fight, shoot a gun, dig a hole, and fish. I've camped, backpacked, kayaked, and spent hours in Cheat River and in the woods.I grew up in Rowlesburg, a tiny mountain, river valley town. We made our own fun with very little money. We played ball, games and rode our bikes in our neighborhood called Tar Hole. One of my brothers is my twin, he was always in every class, every school activity, Sunday School, 4-H, summer, fall, winter and spring.  We also went to college together. He loves nothing better than to irritate me. Two, I have had one kind of job or another since I started babysitting at 12. I know what it is like to work in a store like Walmart, sell ice cream, be an office assistant, etc., because I've done it. I graduated from college on a Friday and started subbing the next Monday. I've been a poor young Preston County school teacher with a mortgage, car payments, and my husband's school loans to pay back. I've cut grass, used a weed eater, helped paint our house, shoveled snow, and used a snow blower. I know how to jump start a car, drive a shift, a 4-wheel drive, a sports car, and a truck. I've ridden dirt bikes and motorcycles. I've shoveled flood mud, gone without utilities for weeks, hauled water, taken a bath in the river, and walked to school and work. Most of my working life, I've been a teacher, a mother, cleaned our house, washed clothes, ran errands, and cooked.  I look for bargains, shop clearance racks, and I'm generally happiest in sweats or a bathing suit. Three, I've worked in Preston County Schools for 30 years through consolidation, floods, fires, blizzards, and a state take over. Four, my life has not and still is not glamorous. I teach, check on my parents, wait on my son, look out for nieces and nephews, take care of Rob, and I always have some kind of cause I'm fighting for. Five, I've had battles to fight may entire life like my weight, anxiety, and back problems. I'm on medication for high blood pressure and anxiety. So, you can see I'm not a Princess. I sleep a lot because I'm a middle age, menopausal, medicated woman, who gets tired after spending the day with 9 and 10 year olds, who take great pleasure in informing me that I am older than their Grandmothers. Now Queen is another thing. When I retire, in a few years, I do plan on hiring as many things done for me as I can. I plan on spending the winters in Florida walking around in beach clothes and flip flops, waking up at noon, and spending the day at the beach writing and looking for shells. Late spring, summer and fall will be on the Cheat River in Rowlesburg. After snow shoveling and snow blowing today, I've decided it will be possible to get this body into Queen shape, but probably never Princess shape so I am officially giving up on being a Princess.

I hate school and I'm the teacher.

Being a teacher on a day like this  is a nightmare. It starts as soon as the kids hit the door. "Are we getting out early?" It is down hill after that. They watch the only window in the room instead of paying attention. They interrupt my classroom instruction to give weather reports. Then there is the dreaded moment when a teacher from another class walks into your room and informs your class that they are going home at noon. Cheers go up and instruction goes out the window, and you realize you still have two hours to go until the kids are leaving. Then it starts endless announcements and classroom interruptions. Across the intercom comes ... "Teachers, teachers put your radios on Channel 10. My radio has been corroded shut since September. Next announcement ......"Kindergarten, you will be eating lunch at 9:30"   Ten hands go up.  "Mrs. Morell, Mrs. Morell, What time do we get to eat lunch."  "Can we all eat lunch in the room with you." At this point I'm thinking, "Did I remember to take my Prozac this morning."  Specialty teacher arrives at the doorway ... "Will you be sending your kids to specialty class today." I have no idea what I'm doing because no one has told me anything at this time. I try to save a little of the day by trying to convince the kids that it is not snow that it is white rain. So I have a room full of kids, a snow storm outside, and a school counselor (of course male) who walks in at this point and wants to know if I have the 999 page testing survey filled out because we are testing tomorrow. Then my cell phone starts ringing.  The cell phone that I'm not suppose to answer but people are calling because they can't get through to the school to tell them about all the wrecks and the road closures, and for one split second it occurs to me that the early out may turn into a sleep over. More teachers arrive in my classroom to give me more information, more questions, more requests. It hits me I need to get snow day work ready. Thank God for Brandy because I'm trying to figure out when to fill out the 999 page test survey and get things copied on a copier that's been broken for two days. Another announcement "Teachers, please pay attention to announcements we have 600 plus kids to feed in the next hour 1/2 if we are going to be able to count this as an instructual school day. Another teacher pops into my room to inform me she is getting a migraine.  I'm not sure why she thinks I care. Another announcement "Fourth graders report to lunch," " I know you just ate breakfast, but go eat again" I inform my class. Great, a quite moment to work on the 999 page testing survey. A teacher walks into my room to use my microwave, and informs me my microwave is not working. I stop to try and fix it. Now back to the survey. The 30 minute lunch is only 15 minutes because there are still more kids to feed. I have to get my snow day work ready for kids or I may get fired. Fired at this point almost sounds like a vacation to a tropical place. Recess. Next announcement ....."Teachers, please listen carefully to all bus announcements, buses are not going to be called in the same order tonight and may not arrive at all. "Mrs. Morell, are we staying here tonight?" Cell phone rings  ...... buses are stopped behind wrecks. Finally get microwave fixed. Wait I can't eat I have bus passes to write. Only 697 more pages to fill out on the form. "Mrs. Morell he pushed me."  "I didn't push you, I accidentally ran into you."  Everyone sit down and be quiet. "Mrs. Morell, I don't want to stay here tonight.  "Nobody is staying here tonight." Finally buses start being called. Reports are coming in that the roads are horrible. Snow day packets, bus passes, survey, "I have to go to the bathroom, Mrs. Morell"  "He hit me again." "Teachers. please listen carefully to the buses being called. 4th grade teachers we are looking for a student." Send lice announcement paper home. Another announcement. "Teachers, the official word is you can't go home until the roads get hazardous. What do you think we pay you for?" Today I hated school and yes I am the teacher.

Cheesey Bisquits

OK, more on the biscuit thing. I was in Morgantown this evening, so of course Justin wanted to eat out. He suggested Rio Grande but I had a soft taco at Taco Bell for lunch so I really didn't want more Mexican, not that a soft taco from Taco Bell is Rio Grande but I like to spice things up in my old age. At my age, you don't know how many more times you might be eating out and you want to fit as much variety in a day as possible. So being on this "I feel like I'm being deprived" track, biscuits came to mind. Cheddar biscuits at Red Lobster, but wait I really love the salad bar at Ruby Tuesdays and don't they have biscuits. So off Rob and I go to meet Cassie and Justin at Ruby Tuesday. I ordered crab cakes and salad bar. Rob ordered fish and I forget what Cassie and Justin ordered because I was already obsessing about the crab cake and cheesy biscuits. We all head to the salad bar to get our salads.  Yum Yum !!!!! Main course severed and part way through  Cassie yells "Cheesy biscuits, they forgot our cheesy biscuits." Great, I like my cheesy biscuits with my salad. I demand Rob get our waiter, who was young and cute. "You forgot our cheesy biscuits."  "We are out for the moment."   he said.  "WHAT !!!!!!!!!!!" Cassie and I said. That is why we came here." Young, cute waiter reassured us there were more in the oven, but was there anything else he could do for us. I informed I needed help with housework this coming weekend and a cabana boy at the beach house for the summer. He said he thought he was busy. Off he goes for the cheesy biscuits only to return to say other waiters had  taken all the fresh ones just out of the oven. Before I could get my mouth open he said "I have a special order in just for you." "Good", I said, "and bring to go boxes and bring two orders because I am not in the mood to share my cheesy biscuits." I also asked him the calorie count of their cheesy biscuits. He thinks it is lower than Cheddar biscuits at Red Lobster. So if I just eat 5 cheesy biscuits instead of cheddar biscuits tonight, I could save enough calories for a serving of M&M's for a midnight snack.

Please keep that information to yourself.

Recently one of my doctors pointed out to me that 25 M&M's are considered a serving (100 cals.). That information he really could of kept to himself because he kind of ruined eating M&M's for me. I like to or I should say use to like to eat M&M's directly from those 1 lb. bags. The same man told me that many of my favorite things to do are probably addictions. He also informed me that the medication I was blaming for my weight gain, doesn't cause weight gain. There really are things that I wish people would keep to themselves and let me live in peace in my nice little delusional world. Tanning beds! I really liked tanning beds. I like that warm, sunny, laying out feel, that sun kissed look, those few quiet peaceful moments feeling like I was somewhere tropical. TANNING BEDS CAUSE AGING AND SKIN CANCER. That was something else someone ruined for me. I tried to convince my family doctor to put a tanning bed in his office so I could use it while waiting for him to see me. I guess you know how that went. This morning I was reading online about how many calories the free food at restaurants contain, but wait I love those cheddar biscuits at Red Lobster, the endless bread sticks at Olive Garden, the big bag of fries at Five Guys. Why do people take such pleasure in ruining my pleasures? I think over the years how many things I have given up. I use to drink Diet Pepsi endlessly. One of my doctors made me give all but one Diet Pepsi up a day. He had the nerve to tell me I was addicted to caffeine. Now caffeine is a bad thing. I can have decaffeinated, but that I really should stop drinking so much diet pop. Have you ever noticed the only things anyone ever tells you to do more of are the things you don't want to do. Exercise, eat broccoli, get organized, go to the dentist, and wear sunscreen. Rob tells me I'm on the computer too much. David thinks I'm too demanding. Justin thinks I should pay more attention to him. Some information people just really need to keep to themselves because I really like my little delusional world where eating M&M's in the tanning bed is a good thing.

Faith

A beautiful sunny morning like this one helps me define faith. I think once a person understands and has faith their life becomes much easier. I haven't always had faith. I don't mean faith as in religion or belief in God but everyday ordinary faith. Faith that good out weighs bad. Faith that spring will come again. For me faith has come with age. Faith comes, I think, with life's experiences. Faith requires some patience.  I watch my son at times and he reminds me so much of myself at his age. Everything seems to take forever, life seems frustrating, very impatient, and people cannot react quick enough for his demands.  I remember that feeling that if it doesn't happen now, it will never happen. I think my faith has grown not so much do to wisdom of age but more to the aging process its self. Day after day, week after week, year after year of seeing things eventually working out, the feeling of renewal each spring with the first sight of a crocus popping out of the snow, the slow but eventual healing that takes place after you loose someone you love. I think faith like many things in life take time. I think each experience in life helps define us and gives us the chance to develop those desirable traits of faith, patience, honestly, dependability, kindness, etc. My faith has grown as I've seen my town and its people survive and come back after a devastating flood.  My faith has grown as I've seen troubled youth grow up and become productive citizens. My faith has grown when someone steps up to defend someone weaker or less fortunate than themselves. As I take a moment now and then to look out the window as I write, I have faith that this glorious sunny day will be one of many to come. I have faith that bad times will be followed by good, lean times with days full of riches, days of healing will follow days of illness.  I have faith that my students will grow and develop into loving parents and productive citizens, my son will learn faith as I have and his children as he will.

Growing up with brothers

Maybe it is because I was raised with boys but don't screw over me. I have three brothers and no sisters. I grew up playing with dolls but also playing Army and shooting guns. My twin brother and I had boxing gloves and fought with them on and off. My brothers picked on me and I learn self defense at a young age. Now, self defense consisted of two things. One route I used was telling on them to my Mom.  The other was to hit back. I'm sorry but at 52 there are still some people I would really just like to deck. I've never understood women's style of fighting with the behind the back, back stabbing, lying and denying. I would prefer to just get in someones face and get it over with. This gets me back to the first point of don't screw over me because I will confront you, get in your face, and try not to deck you. I think more people should learn to take up for themselves. I watch people at work and in every aspect of life being taken advantage of and yes screwed over by people who are bullies or people who tend to think that they are just better than everyone else. I'm talking adult bullies not kid bullies. I'm talking about people who try and get by with taking advantage of other people and situations, especially people that they think are weak. Many of these people even consider themselves good Christians. They never expect any consequences for their bad behavior because generally many people will get upset and complain but they never really take up for themselves. I have found myself many times in situations where I stood up for myself, and the bullies were shocked. They get a look on their face, loose their train of thought and speech and have no idea how to react. I still am a little amazed that adults actually think they can act like bullies and no one is ever going to stand up to them. Did they not learn that old playground rule that there is always someone bigger and badder to take you out. Growing up with boys just naturally taught me to take up for myself so nobody really does scare me. I've had my share of black eyes, broken teeth and bruises but I've always kept my dignity intact.I like strong women, women who will take up for themselves and others. Most people know not to mess with me but I have come across a few that always under estimate me or have never experienced a women with opinions that will defend herself. Principals have a love and hate relationship with me. They know I'm a great teacher but they also know they can't intimidate me. Now that is a very scary thing to them, a women who will fight, a women who will defend herself and others, a women who will go to no end to protect her students or defend the underdog. A strong women also scares other women, which is sad, because all women should strive to be strong. I try to teach all the girls in my life to be strong and take up for themselves and learning to threw a good punch isn't a bad idea either.

Train whistles and water.

The railroad and water have always been two big parts of my life. The sound of a train whistle echoing off the mountains or the sounds of the running water of the river are music to my ears. Some visitors to Rowlesburg complain of the train whistles but at night they sound like a lullaby to my ears. The first thing I look at in the morning is the river. I grew up in a family where you were taught to "read the river".  My Grandma would read the river twice a day. Reading the river consisted of walking down a trail to the river's edge and making observations of the river's height on a gauge. I remember different times going with my Grandmother to read the river and when I was older and at her house she would let me take the trail down the riverbank to read the gauge. When my Dad starting canoeing and kayaking and bought David and I our own kayaks we were taught to "read the river" again. The skill of knowing what is creating each wave is essential to running a river. The railroad family has a language of its own. I come from a family of three generations of railroaders so I learned the railroad language early. I understand the different jobs on the railroad, how track is built and repaired, how a train runs, why they derail, and the dangers of the job. I visited my Dad and Grandad at work. Rob worked for the railroad for a brief time. I like the sound of trains and watching them go by car by car. When Rob and I bought our house in Ormond. I mentioned to Rob how much it felt like home. He said it has everything you need. I asked him what that was, he said train whistles and water.

Saturday morning

The older I get the more I love Saturday morning. Saturday morning starts for me on Friday night just knowing I can sleep in late. I love sleeping in late. I use to jump out of bed on Saturday morning and start a marathon of cleaning, errands and activities with Rob and Justin. Now I lay in bed and fall in and out of sleep until almost noon. I do take phone calls in bed on Saturday morning which is usually family like my Mom, Justin or one of my brothers. I lay in bed talking leisurely about the events of the week. This is a treat I don't have time for during the week. Then it is breakfast, which Rob usually makes for me,  because he is just so happy I finally got out of bed. Then I do actually try and accomplish something. Today will be taking the holiday decorations down and cleaning the house. I will do this at a pace that allows for face book, TV, looking through the mail, and blogging. I don't rush life any more. One, I'm too out of shape to rush and to I'm trying to acquire that fine art of slowing down, enjoying life and smelling the flowers. Rob is making me, as I write, an egg sandwich which he will serve me with a cold glass of orange juice. Everyone gives me a hard time about Rob waiting on me but he likes to cook and he likes to wait on me. Seriously. This is also a special Saturday because it is the beginning of the long Martin Luther King, Jr. weekend. I will also take time to plan out the rest of my weekend today, which can involve many things. Today is a playoff game between the Steelers and the Ravens. We live in Steeler country but my husband isn't originally from here and he is cheering for the Ravens. There are also some other Raven fans in town so we will probably watch at least part of the game at the Thirsty Bear. I'm very wishy washy about pro ball teams. I generally cheer for the pro football team with the best looking QB, which makes perfect sense to me. Brandy cheers for the team with the prettiest colors, which is one reason I like Brandy.  She thinks like me. So the glory of Saturday begins and the promise of a wonderful weekend.

Cloudy with a chance of snow

I'm really not a winter person. I like warm, sunlight, green, flowers, etc. I don't like slush unless it is a slushy tropical drink by the pool in the summer. I don't like shoes so I really hate boots. I like flip flops, all colors and kinds. I like waking up to sunshine and fresh air. I like open windows and doors. I don't like driving to work in the dark and coming home in the dark. I really hate going outside in the morning when it is cold and warming up my vehicle. I hate the sound that icy window wipers make. I don't like shoveling snow anymore. I don't like bundling up in layers of clothes, coats, and gloves, etc. I don't like winter clothes. I like summer clothes. Winter is dark and dreary and I tend to gain weight. Summer is bright, light and cheery and I tend to loose weight. Nobody is out in the winter. I really don't like waiting for someone to decide whether I am working or not. I have moved from flip flops to clogs but still can't seem to put on my boots. Rob gets upset because he told me that if I dressed appropriately for winter I might like it better. I see nothing wrong with a tee shirt and clogs when you know you are not leaving the car. I know I'm not leaving the car when there is that much snow outside. I bring a coat and gloves with me just in case, but it is hard to eat M&M's with gloves on. I like summer. Summer means sleeping in, breakfast on the porch, walking through the yard looking at my flowers, days at the beach, evenings on the meadow, campfires, swimming, a tan, long naps, cold drinks. Winter for me is long days at school and longer dark evenings inside at home. I've tried doing things in the winter but I just dread going out in the cold and then coming home in the cold. The only thing worse than being cold is cold and wet. Snow tends to be wet. Our house doesn't do well in the winter. Too many icicles form and bring gutters down. I'm trying to think of something positive to say but I just thought of how sick I've been the last 4 weeks and that doesn't help because winter means flu and cold season. Rob won't come near me when I'm sick so I get lonely. There is more laundry to do in the winter because everyone is wearing more clothes. The house gets tracked up.  I don't like doing laundry or cleaning either. The forecast for the next week is cloudy with a chance of snow. I'm still not getting out my boots.

Nobody is perfect.

Nobody is perfect and many of us are members of religious groups that are based on being loved even though we are imperfect, being forgiven for sins, forgiving others, and working towards being better people. Yet, I constantly find people expecting everyone but themselves to be perfect, being very unforgiving, and casting way to many stones. The older I get the more I have come to accept my own imperfections and faults not without help. I also realize that growing and learning is going to come with its share of mistakes and failures. I think we should all stop and think before we cast the first stone. I have not lead a perfect life. I grew up and still live in a small town and you can find many old and dear friends of mine who can share with you more than a few of my adventures, misadventures, and crazy times. I have grown up since then. Thank God for that, but many of these things have also made me the person I am today.  I am one of those people who do believe in God's forgiveness, second chances, friends who stick by you, trying to be a better person each day and moving on. I believe in reaching out to people instead of attacking them with stones. I think maybe how things could have been different in Arizona on Saturday had someone  reached out to the young man obviously suffering from mental illness. I do believe in holding people accountable but I also believe that we all need to be there for each other. I find too often people want to make it us against them, or we are deserving but you aren't. I have always been for the underdog. The person who hasn't been handed everything. The person who takes a second chance and does well. I am proud of many former students I know who are going back to school. Life is not easy and it is not a contest. Nobody is perfect, no body's kids are perfect. Our homes get dirty, our lives get messy and sometimes we need help. Sometimes we need someone to believe in us, take up for us, cheer us on, lead us in the right direction, and be a friend. Stones hurt, and can be thrown back. I like to use stones to build flower beds, little walls and decorate with, but then again I believe in forgiveness and second chances.

Christina Taylor Green

What have we become? Christina Taylor Green, 9 years old, born on 9/11. Maybe it is because I am surrounded by 9 year olds every day or maybe because it is all so sad and pointless, but I can't stop thinking about Christina today and the other victims of the Arizona shootings this weekend. Why does a country that has so much hate so  much?  Why do so many people think they are better than other people? Why are people so judgemental? I find it strange that America was built on being accepting of differences yet now we are killing each of because of our differences. Young Christina, a student council member, attends a political rally of a Congresswoman to see how the political system works in America and never comes home to her mother and father. So, we have a young man so upset with the American political system that he takes fire on a Congresswoman and an innocent crowd of young and old Americans. There are many topics that everyone needs to look at this week, health care, mental health care, politicians, political parties, guns, cooperation, tolerance, acceptance, compassion, being judgemental, religion, conservative, liberal, the list goes on. One thing will all know is the Americans died this weekend needlessly. Americans died at a supermarket in Arizona killed by a young American. A 22 year old, white, American male, unemployed, living with his parents, seen wearing a hoodie, listening to an I-pod, walking a dog. It could of been anywhere?  So, I think here was someone who needed mental health care that probably didn't get it because he was young, unemployed, but to old to be on his parents insurance. Someone that need health care killed people over someone trying to get people health care. Does anyone else see this? Why do we think we can judge who is worthy of health care? Why do some of us think we and our kids are more deserving than everyone else? Believe me I see it and hear it everyday. Comments about who people think are deserving and why? I sometimes see why things happen because people constantly turn their heads and walk away. Did someone not notice this young man needed help. I see this everyday. Kids ignored, people made to feel undeserving, older people neglected, yet we are so surprised when something happens. Until EVERYONE CARES ABOUT EVERYONE, until EVERYONE BECOMES LESS JUDGEMENTAL, until EVERYONE STAYS AND TRYS TO HELP INSTEAD OF WALKING AWAY, until COMPASSION, TRUST, FAITH, and COOPERATION return to America there will be more Christina Taylor Greens.

Regrouping

I'm one of those people who have to regroup. To regroup is to basically "get it all together" again.  This is a regrouping weekend. On a regrouping weekend, I stay home. I do laundry. I clean house. I go through the mail. Rob goes to Walmart, sometimes I go, but I'd rather have a root canal. It is my time to get my house and mind  back to a somewhat state of organization. The past month has been busy. Holidays, birthdays, a trip to Florida, and being sick. I did manage to go to school three days this week but probably shouldn't have. My kids made me feel guilty. They don't like to have subs. So, I floundered through this week not knowing where things were, throwing on clothes in the morning and living on soup and oatmeal. I can only do that for so long. I hate to admit it, but I like organization. I like knowing where things are in the house. I like clean underewear. I like having outfits picked out for the week and an idea of what jewelry I'm wearing. I like knowing there is milk and juice in the house and Rob is downstairs in the morning making my breakfast and lunch. I like the house to be somewhat clean and organized. I don't know why but if everything at home is in a disaray, I don't function well. So this weekend I'll find my keys, make sure my cell phone in charged, wash and put away clothes, reorganize my jewelry, go through the mail, clean out my purse, make phone calls, clean up the kitchen, refill my prescriptions, and get everything just where I like it. Hopefully, things will be back to normal next week. Brandy will be back to school, and back to waiting on me. Thank God for Brandy this year.  She is like a personal assistant. I have found I love having a personal assistant. She keeps me organized at school and is a big help with the class. She knows the value of being organized. I'm not sure why I get disorganized. Rob thinks it is because I don't stay focused and I just lay things down and walk off. I feel like I'm just always multi-tasking. Anyway, I have to regroup this weekend so my mind will have time to think of wonderful words of wisdom instead of "now where is my hair tie and why don't we have any toilet paper?"

When enough is enough

A few years ago when I felt totally overwhelmed with being a working mother, I bought a book called when Enough is Enough.  Yesterday at school I thought of that book between teaching, looking for tissues, coughing, meetings, figuring out what I was eating for lunch, duties, grading papers and looking for the next drug I was suppose to be taking. That is why at 6 o'clock this morning I told Rob to call me in sick. I don't want to do it all anymore. I don't even want to do some of it. In fact, I don't even want to get dress today and I probably won't. I can tell you a few of the things that got me to this point. Panty hose. I hate panty hose and refuse to wear them. I did, at one time get up in the morning put on panty hose and a dress and go to work.  That was one of the stupidest things I ever made myself endure. I use to think that principals were smarter than teachers. That was also one of the stupidest things I made myself endure. About the same time I had enough of principals, I also had enough of what other people thought of me. Let me tell you worrying about what other people think is a total waste of time. Now, I just find it flattering if anyone is thinking of me at all. I also, around 40, realized there is no perfect life or family. Norman Rockwell was an artist not a therapist. I've actually fallen in love with my dysfunctional family and friends, and I'm sure we give other people who haven't had enough yet, something to talk about. I have definitely had enough of dieting and trying to have a body that looks good in a bathing suit. I have not had one person refuse to stay at my beach house because I don't have a bathing suit body. I have lots of cute little cover ups and there are always sweat pants and tee shirts.  High heels are dangerous and really bad for your feet. I've had enough of those too. I don't know when I had enough of trying to be fake nice, but trying to be overly nice doesn't become me so I don't do that either. I don't have my nails done as much as I once did because, YES, you guessed it, I've had about enough of that, too. I am also going to give away all my teacher clothes when I retire because I've had enough of that boring school teacher look. I really can't believe some of the things I've done in my life because I thought I was suppose to talk, act or look a certain way. Let me save all of you alot of time. Be you. Don't let anyone tell you something that you know in your heart and mind is wrong, stupid, or just not worth your time or worry. I just really can't believe I wore panty hose.

Remaining loyal and remembering your roots

The nurse today at my doctor's office asked me why I didn't go to the doctor in Florida instead of being sick for a week and driving back here to WV to go to my doctor. I guess it was a good question because Rob thinks it was crazy, too.  One, I really thought I would start feeling better each day. But I am just one of those people that have a loyalty to things. I'm loyal to my true friends, even if you do some really stupid things at times. I'm loyal to my family as annoying as you can be at times. I'm loyal to my state. I'm loyal to my Mountaineers, even if you loose a bowl game. I proudly wear my school colors and display the flying gold and blue on my vehicle. I believe in loyalty and faithfulness. I believe in remembering where you came from and who your childhood friends were when you fell off your bike. I believe in saying that I am from Preston County, WV not saying I live near Morgantown. I believe in saying I'm from Rowlesburg and proud of it. I believe in staying loyal to people, places, and things. Our home is filled with family things. Everything is kind of mismatched but old and comfy. I believe in family and remaining loyal to those artifacts from the past full of memories of my grandparents and great-grandparents. I believe in high school reunions and looking at old yearbooks and face booking my classmates from the Class of "76 of Rowlesburg High School. We will probably always own this home on Oak Street because it is where my roots are and roots sustain life, always have, always will. I believe in God, family and friends. I believe in remaining loyal and remembering your roots. I trust my doctor. He has been there for me through floods, childbirth, diets, pink eye, and now middle age. I drive miles to see a certain doctor, watch the Mountaineers play, help a friend, or be there for a family member. Maybe it is a small town thing or maybe it is just the right thing.

Journey back home and traveling cold.

Before I was allowed in the car this morning Rob pointed out to me where the tissue box was and the hazardous waste bags which I was to place my tissues into for proper disposal. I'm not kidding. I promptly passed out. Upon awaking for a quick stop, I preceded to make a couple of phone calls. One to my principal to call in sick. My principal is so happy that his wife is out of town for six weeks and I'm out sick that he could hardly contain his excitement. I finally reached him at school. As soon as I finished  my phones calls, Rob insisted I clean his phone.  This precipitated the next stop which was for cell phone sanitizing wipes. Yes, there are cell phone sanitizing wipes. Rob picked the ocean breeze scent. At this point of the trip, I'm thinking I've done at least a couple of things with Rob throughout our 30 plus year relationship that may have merited "germ phobia" more than this cold.  Just sayin'.  Window and vent placement become a matter of concern. Air flow in the car had to guarantee that my "germs" would properly flow out of the correct window away from Rob. Rob made frequent stops at rest areas to make me dispose of my hazardous waste bags and was more than a little irritated when he realized that I had accidentally used one of his snack bags for my contaminated tissues. By Statesville, NC we had both had enough. I just wanted to go to bed but Rob wanted to go to JR's and shop. I told him to go by himself but he informed me that it would be as fun without me. So I drag myself off the bed and go to JR's. I decided to be nice and let Rob eat at CiCi's Pizza. His long lost Italian Jewish cousin runs the place and he always likes to stop there because he makes him special pizzas. I though I could at least get some hot chicken soup. I get a little salad, because I'm trying to eat better, and my drink. I told Rob I would be right back that I was going to get my soup.  When I come back, he is sitting on the other side of the restaurant with his cell phone and wipes. We finally end up at the same table and finish dinner. On the way to the car Rob tells me to remind him to stop for Lysol spray. Tomorrow I get to go to the doctor, who I know will tell me the reason I have a cold is because I need to loose weight. I'm sure of this because I'm certain if I walked down the street and a comet whirled itself out of the sky at me it would be because I need to loose weight. Did I mention that Rob and my doctor are friends.

New Year???

I had this conversation with Rob today about not getting this New Year's thing. His reply was "Debra, what is there to not get? Millions of people have been celebrating the New Year for thousands of years on this day?"  My reply was, "So does that means it's right?"  Maybe it is my love of warm, sunny months but spring, or maybe because I am a teacher, September could be the new year. I just don't get January. It is winter. It is cold. It is dark. Not a motivating time of the year to start anything new. Maybe that is why my diet and exercise plan never works. It is difficult to walk on ice and snow in the dark. At the end of a school day in the winter, I just want to curl up on the couch by the fire and sleep. It is difficult to start any outdoor projects in the winter. Does it sound like I'm making excuses? I think not. My doctor the other day asked me why it is difficult for me to exercise in the winter. I tried to explain that it is too cold outside. He asked me why I don't go to a gym. I tried to one more time explain that it is cold outside and to get to the gym I have to go outside and get in my car. He then asked me about exercising at home. I informed him that I had donated my exercise equipment to the gym. There are things that make perfect sense to me that nobody else seems to get, like why can't the New Year start in the spring?