New Years Resolutions

The idea is good but the execution is poor. I always have the best intentions every January 1st of executing some wonderful list of self improvements. The plan usually last until I get out of bed. So this year I am using reverse psychologically and making non resolutions to see if that works any better. I resolve or not resolve to: loose weight, exercise, keep my opinions to myself, be nice to David, not complain to Rob, eat less candy, take less naps, spend less time on social networking, drink less pop, eat less M&M's, clean up the kitchen every night, stay out of candy aisles, sound like I care, pay attention to people when they are saying stupid things, generally pay attention, learn to use my phone, learn to use my computer better, take exercising more serious, be less sarcastic, be grateful for having brothers, pay attention to Rob when he opens his mouth, eat less mashed potatoes, be nice to Chris on facebook, quit making schedules, stop telling Justin that Midnight is his brother, stop referring to myself as the Queen, treating others like they are my servants, talking to Midnight like he cares, obsessing about holiday decorations, trying to find the perfect beach chair, adding chocolate to everything, and making lists. I think this is going to be a very good year.  The pressure is off and all I really have to do is just get up and keep doing what I've been doing for the last 50 years and I should feel pretty good about myself. Now, where is my tiara?

Retirement is Kind of Like Not Working

Retirement is kind of like not working. Wait, you don't work when you retire. Some how I've convinced myself that I do work but I just have an easy job and I set my own hours. Everyone told me that I would hate retirement. My shrink thought I'd be bored or feel worthless. He never has really accepted my role and obligations as a queen. I also think he thinks I have issues with reality. Enough about him. I really like retirement. I like setting my own hours with no schedule. I did try a schedule but it only lasted one day because I took a nap and got off schedule. I like the freedom to socialize and not feel like I should be home cleaning, doing laundry or grading papers. I like walking on the beach having the feeling I'm on an endless vacation. I like having leisurely meals, going out for lunch, eating meals in my Tinker Bell PJ's, and watching TV while eating breakfast. I find doing nothing productive. I like hanging out with Nesha and Nicole and looking at the latest things at their Boutique. I like staying up late, sleeping late, and leaving things until tomorrow. There are days that it is noon until I realize I haven't brushed my hair. I try to have it together before Rob gets home from work but if I don't I just tell him that I just got up from a nap. I love hanging out with Julie and Mary in Florida. I like hanging out in bed in the morning thinking about nothing or about the color aqua.  I have no idea why I am obsessed with the color aqua these days but when you are retired you have the time to think about all kind of useless things like having an aqua laundry room and new recipes on Pinterest. I try every couple of days to do the hair and make up thing. I also volunteer at church and try to learn something new each day. I make lots of plans for things like what bathing suit I should wear to the beach, what book to take and what kind of snacks would taste could for the day. I'm happy for people who love to work.  I'm just glad it is not me anymore. I think part of it is I just don't have the patience anymore for following orders, having a schedule, listening to anyone or even pretending to. I love my flip flops and very casual dress. I love not packing a lunch and trying to eat it in fifteen minutes. I love not going out early if it is rainy. I love not going out early at all. I like not having to say good morning because many days it is noon before I venture out. I think I'm actually pretty good at retirement considering that I never had any formal training, an in service or attended a conference on it. I don't even need an administrator telling me how to do it. I just get up or even some days not get up and do it. Funny thing how doing nothing kind of grows on you after years of working.

Reflections and Thoughts

• It is that time of the year to reflect. Although reflection can be very difficult at times, especially during a time period like this past year that seemed to begin with so much loss, hurt and frustration, reflection and acceptance is necessary to move on to a new positive place. I would like to take credit for much of my advice but I can't. I have gained my knowledge for years from family members, friends, teachers, people I meet everyday and God.  I also have gotten a lot of advice from my psychiatrist, Dr. Nickell, who pushes me to reflect, think, and help myself. I also look to others to ground me and give me inspiration. My cousin. Pam has been a great inspiration to me this year.  She lost her youngest son tragically in February but continues her great devotion to God, her family and friends. There have been times in this past year that I have become very dishearten with mankind and frustrated with how things seem to be playing out in life. I would stop and tell myself', "If Pam can get up and face another day, so can you." I have a great deal of contact through my blog and facebook with former students. I want all of them to be prepared that life is not always easy, make that most of the time, and bad things can and will happen. In marriage, there is a reason for that part about "for better and worse", "richer and poorer".  You will experience it all. Life is a journey. It isn't a competition and when you get to my age you realize stuff is just that, stuff.  You aren't always going to be young and that middle age thing sneaks up on you before you know it, so appreciate your knees, hips, and flexibility now. Start taking care of yourself now. You will be glad when you are fifty that you did. Remember to focus on your body, mind and soul.  Consider worshiping God in whatever religion you choose. Be a good person. Help someone everyday less fortunate than you. Don't waste money on designer anything. Be your own designer. Step up to the plate on your responsibilities. Raise your kids with tough love. Don't give them everything they want. Read to your children, help them with homework. Get off your computer once in awhile and read a real book.  Don't use profanity on facebook. Pretend like you are seating in my class at school. Be intelligent because you are. Shop at a thrift store or Goodwill once in awhile because you are helping someone else. Save money, pay off your charge card each month. Live beneath your means if you ever want to have money when that chance for your dream comes along. Take your kids on educational trips and vacations. Your kids will grow up quickly and you don't get a second chance to raise them so try and do it right the first time. Plant a garden or flowers. Have traditions. Send cards. Be a good and faithful spouse. Enjoy the arts. Share your talents. Walk in the rain. Play in the snow. Swim in the ocean. Fish in the river. Hike in the woods. Lay on the ground and look at the stars, Count your blessings. Say thank you and please. Be grateful. Call your parents. Visit your grandparents. Stay in touch with your old teachers. Give to charities. Volunteer. Adopt a pet from an animal shelter and take  good care of it. Donate to food banks. Help at your child's school in someway. Don't lie. Remember to learn from your mistakes and reflect and take joy in what you do that is right. And always remember, you don't know where you might run into Mrs. Morell.

Thank God Joesph Was Not a Dead Beat Dad

The following is a comment on a post that one of my face book friends posted earlier this week. My comments will appear after this initial post.

“Friends” Face book Post Sets Me Off!

A couple of days ago I woke up to read this on my news feed page.

“To a very special dead beat dad....I don't know how you can live with yourself and lay your head to rest every night! May karma come back and eat you alive!”

"At first I was confused as to whom she was talking about, then I was elated to realize that someone else in this world has the guts to call out dead beat Dads! That someone besides me knows how it feels to watch the ones you love get treated like they do not exist or matter in this world by worthless men
I  know the person who wrote that post. She was a childhood friend of my daughter's.  I really liked her. I would invite her to all sorts of activities with us, Sandcastle, Seneca Rocks, birthday parties, everything. If you look through our photo albums, she is there, a lot. Her mother did something no parent has ever done to me, and I have never forgotten it. When our girls were young, her mother called me in the evening. I thought, oh great, now what have I done? Instead her Mom was calling to make sure that her daughter was treating my daughter nicely in school. She heard the girls seats got moved in class and if her daughter was being a bully she wanted to know right then."

"Needless to say, she grew up understanding RESPONSIBILITY and CONSEQUENCES! And as an adult, I have to assume, her tolerance for “dead beat Dads” is fairly low!"

"My tolerance for “dead beat Dads” is, well, extremely low also.  Who the hell are these guys???
Who are you, as a person, if you have to have a judge order you to support your son???
Who are you when your son grows day by day without a father????
Who are you when you allow another person to give up 100% of THEIR life to care for
YOUR child???
Who are you when you are not mature enough to understand responsibility and consequences and that they APPLY TO YOU!
Who are you?"

!!!OK MY TURN!!!!  I don't like dead beat parents of either sex and they come from both sexes. First, this may seem harsh but USE BIRTH CONTROL IF YOU DON'T WANT A BABY !!!!!!  Don't assume the other person is using birth control. Two, if you are not financially, emotionally mentally and physically mature you should probably not be having sex and especially unprotected sexual contact. Three, if you didn't follow the above advice guess what the consequences are yours, BOTH OF YOURS!!! Last time I checked it took two to make a baby. Four, the baby is innocent and love able and needs love from their parents.  Now on to consequences and responsibility.  All I can say on this one is GROW UP AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY !!!!!! 

JUST WAIT THERE IS STILL MORE!!!  Let's look at this from a religious stand point since I know a few dead beat parents that think they are Christians. Do you remember that couple Mary and Joesph? Where would we be if Joesph had said "No way that baby is not mine and even if it is I'm don't want anything to do with it or you Mary." Just a thought for the holiday season.  Thank God, literally, that Joesph was not a dead beat Dad. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR CHILDREN AND CARE FOR THEM AS IF THEY WERE THE NEXT SAVIOR OF THE WORLD.  YOU JUST NEVER KNOW!!

Christmas is a State of MInd

Many wonder how I can get into the Christmas spirit in Florida.   I find it easy. Actually, Rob is finding it more difficult than I am. I don't need cold weather or snow. Bethlehem has a Mediterranean climate. You would have been more likely to see a palm tree than a pine tree near the manger. I have found the older I get that the Christmas spirit has nothing to do with the weather or shopping and more of a state of mind, a feeling in the heart, and desire to give and be with friends and family. I've started doing the usual holiday activities with the passing of Thanksgiving. I've worked on Christmas cards, holiday baking, decorating, and shopping this past week. I met with a lady at a local church to try and get involved in working at a soup kitchen, lunch program for local high school kids and various other programs at the church. I've been diving into spiritual readings more and trying to work on spirit along with my mind and body.  I find myself liking to do and experience things rather than "get" more "things".
Mary and I went to church today at the First United Methodist Church of Ormond Beach. It is huge compared to my hometown Christ United Methodist Church but everyone was very friendly and welcoming. We went to the Contemporary Service which is earlier and includes big screens, guitars, drums, music videos, a hand bell choir, vocalists etc. in the worship service. I found the music video today excellent which talked about not finding Jesus at the mall. Interesting isn't it how much time we spend at stores during a religious season. In the song/video a boy asks "Where is the line for Jesus as opposed to where is the line for Santa Claus?"  The minister also mention the lack of manger scenes and the popularity of everything from lighted deer to multiple inflatables in peoples front yards for the Christmas season. So I started thinking what do our actions, homes, choices say about us during the Christmas season? Where do we spend most of our time? What do we spend our time doing? What do our actions say about us?  What do our words say? Have we helped anyone lately?  Have we offered words of encouragement? Is there something I can give up to help someone else this holiday season? When was the last time I dropped food off at the food pantry, visited a shut in or a lonely senior citizen, adopted an angel off an angel tree, donated to a worthy cause, bought something for an animal shelter. How many times have I been seen at the mall as opposed to being seen at church or perhaps a soup kitchen or homeless shelter?
This music video made me think so I am sharing it with you

Becky Kelley - Where's the Line to See Jesus - OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO

www.youtube.com

Brad, Brad,Brad

So Brad is still mad about the Cabana Boy blog and the supposedly poor light that I reflected upon him in the blog. He has been actively working to improve his image in my eyes since that blog was written, but last night bordered on pathetic. Mary (Brad's wife) invited us over to watch the WVU game.  I wore blue jeans, a yellow shirt, my WVU flip flop slippers ( a gift from a former student), a fringed WVU scarf (another gift from a student), and blue finger nails. I must also mention that Mary has a really bad cold but managed to make a very nice dinner and great nut roll cookies. Brad, well Brad is Brad. He didn't do much of anything but try to impress me so he could get in my blog. When I came in he complimented me on my hair. What's with that? I mean it was brushed but other than that, really no change. Next he let me set in the best chair in the room, black reclining leather with a comfy footstool to match. I call it the Queen's chair when I'm in it. When Brad is in it, no one really cares. Once in the chair, Brad gets a blanket and covers me up and wants to know if I need a foot rub.  Really Brad,  PATHETIC!!!  So once feed and settled into the Queen's chair, we started watching game. Brad doesn't shut up the entire game. Neither does his friend. I was really surprised Brad had a friend but found out the guy really isn't a friend just someone who came to golf with Brad. Brad thinks he is this great golfer but Mary said she had never witnessed it. So the "non friend" and Brad are suppose to have this "men's weekend" away to go to a golf tournament.  The course is only 20 miles away so I'm not to sure what this is all about. I'm also not sure if they are riding bikes there or driving.  Anyway, Brad thinks Mary and I are going to dress up in cheer leading uniforms and come and cheer for them at the golf tournament.  Like that will ever happen. Brad must be good at something. I like Mary have just never witnessed it. He did finally make the blog so he at least has that to put on his resume, and by the way Brad don't forget to borrow those wings for me that you wore last year to the party. Could you re glitter them before you give them to me and bring me some more of Mary's cookies when you come.