My Life Never Really Changes and The Exorcist

So all I wanted was a good night's sleep after a couple of stressful days. That is not possible in this family. Enter David. After a shower, on Sunday night and a day of errands for Mom and Dad and Justin and Cassie, I just wanted my AC bedroom and quiet. This was not to be had with David in town.  At 1:30 AM Monday our phone rang. I instantly thought of Mom and Dad.  No, it was David.  "Debra, come let us in your house, now!" What?"  We need to sleep at your house." "Rob, go let David in."  By now, Rob knows this is never a good thing. I walked downstairs to greet David's family who had been run off the Meadow by some late night drunks.  Hey drunks, if you are reading this, thanks a lot!  I would have told them to get off the property or I was going to go psycho.  Justin would have just had a little fun target practice in the dark.  Buttttttttttt David has to involve me at 1:30 AM in the morning.  This is nothing new, believe me.  One foggy summer night of our 16th year a bunch of us went to see the Exorcist at the Grafton Drive-in.  Remember the Exorcist, Linda Blair (Megan) possessed by demons, turning head, throwing up, spewing expletives at the priest, OK, so this does sound a little like me.  Anyway, we get home late that night. David goes to his bedroom and I go to my pink shag carpeted bedroom.  I am sound a sleep when  I sense a body beside me calling my name .... "Debra, Debra !!!!"  "Can I sleep with you?"  "WHAT !!!!!!!!!"  I know it is Preston County but really that is just a nasty urban legend.  "No you can't sleep with me!"  "What is wrong with you?" " I'm afraid."  David thought he was going to become possessed by demons.  Maybe if he hadn't tortured me and my dolls he would not be ridden with quilt. I told him to sleep on the floor. I fell back to sleep, only to awake and find David beside my bed.  I had forgotten he had come into my room and bolted up right and screamed.  At that point, David thought I was possessed and we both screamed. What a night. My life has been one crazy wild ride after another. All I ever wanted was a good night's sleep and a few other things. Funny thing, Mom didn't even ask why David was on the floor of my bedroom the next morning. I think she was so happy he was finally off of baby food at 16, she didn't question much.

Tara and Baby Preston's Baby Shower Toast

So once again one of Julie's daughters has made her a grandmother before me and for that I am grateful.  This baby is very special to me because it is a boy.  Julie so deserves a boy.  For years Julie would come to school and share with me the wonderful things Tara had done or made the night before - decorated the house for fall, made hot spiced cider from the new Martha Stewart magazine, put up the Christmas tree and decorated it, made fresh apple cinnamon dumplings.  I could only share muddy football uniforms, a litter strewn bedroom, and Justin lying on the couch in his boxers when I got home, asking me what we were having for dinner.  I cannot forget the mornings at school, after sitting on the bleachers in the rain the night before at an out of town 9th grade football game,  Julie making me hold Tara's pageant jewelry to the window to see if it sparkled enough.  I always told Julie she needed  a boy.  She said never.  Tara, for Preston, I will always be grateful.  I will be buying him many gifts and pets. Tara, I know you are probably thinking - why is it always about my Mom and Debra.  all I can say is, IT IS!, but we also love you and Preston, and always will.  We will be there for you when you need us and probably when you don't.  Life is amazing, and amazingly crazy and if you think it ever goes as planned, well we all know that it doesn't.  Tara, best wishes for you and Preston, may you always be surrounded by loving, caring family and friends, and may Preston be every bit the boy Justin was for me because your mother deserves nothing less.

Good night John Boy

I liked the TV show the Walton's. We are the Feltons and we live in the mountains, also, but do not confuse us with them.  Not that anyone ever would. May is always a big family month for our family.  It is Mom and Dad's Anniversary, the TWINS birthday, Mother's Day, Rob and Deb's Anniversary and usually someones graduation. This has been a fairly typical May so far. Last week end we celebrated Mom and Dad's anniversary with a party but before a go any further everyone needs a little background on the Felton family.  I tried to make things simple having just one child and one husband.  My brothers never make anything simple. My friend Julie told me that this life is not meant to be simple for me, something about me having something to learn in this life, being in a previous life with her and the significance of being born on the side of the road in a ditch.  I keep telling her I was born in a car but she doesn't listen any better than my brothers.  So back to my brothers who have more than one wife and more than one child. We are very much a blended family with ex's, and present spouses, her kids, my kids, our kids, the new spouses of the ex's. Everything makes perfect sense to me but I have been present for all the weddings, births, divorces and showers. This blended thing goes pretty smooth until David gives a Best Man toast at a wedding and congratulates the Groom and the ex-wife.  One of my brothers did not find this too amusing and thought David did it on purpose, but I knew better.  David has done dumb shit like this his entire life. Anyway, these stories make for good entertainment at family gatherings and for my blog. I feel a little sorry for new members who marry into this family trying to figure everything out but if you choose to stick around after the first family gathering I basically consider you on your own. I try to attend all family events because I would be the topic of conversation if I wasn't there and David has the wonderful ability to rewrite history today (always making him look good) just as he did when we were four. So last week end was the anniversary party for Mom and Dad.  This week end was the graduation party for Kayla and Lindsey. They both received their Masters Degrees from WVU.  So we had a blended family party today. Plus Kayla made David and I birthday cakes. Mine was a beach scene with flip flops, beach towel and a shark.  David's was a stupid golf course. Every year David buys my gift before I buy him one so he can announce to everyone  that he has a gift for me and I have none for him, which then forces me to buy him a really good gift. Feltons are loud and argumentative, too. This makes for interesting family gatherings. We do share a love of food and desserts. Sometimes I have wished for a Walton type of family but it just doesn't seem to be in the cards for me. Justin's girlfriend, Cassie, was looking at family photos the other day and wanted to know why David always got gifts on my birthday.  Cassie fits right into this family.  She gets it. She understands that it is all about me. Something my brothers still don't get. I wonder what those new members think at their first Felton gathering but they seem to come back.  It is kind of like watching a slow train wreck, but with good food. So here we are at the middle of May and only a few more family gatherings this month. Oh, I forgot about the Memorial Day family picnic.

Let Me Get Through Today

Rob asked me tonight what I wanted to do on Sunday.  Maybe I am getting old or maybe just wise but my answer was ...... "just let me get through today first."  I use to make elaborate plans stretching far into the future, not any more. As time goes on, I have found that "shit happens" and fast. Some things are good but some things stop you in your tracks and make you rethink everything about your elaborate plans for the future. This past year and half have been difficult for Rob and I and many days we have had that feeling that things are happening and way too fast. Those things that make you stop in your tracks and rethink and re-plan everything you had on your agenda. From Rob's Dad passing away unexpectedly to trying to make any sense of Derek's violent death, you are forced to stop, regroup, gather your thoughts and evaluate what is really important. Watching our parents age, Justin grow up, and relatives passing, we have come to that point of realizing the time does not stand still and there are no grantees. So with Mothers Day approaching, my parents 60th Anniversary on Saturday and the twins' birthday, I had to pause for just a moment and respond to Rob with "just let me get through today."  I told Rob last night that everything had moved to fast the last year and a half. Overnight, it seemed like we had to dismantle and sell his parents home, finding ourselves sifting through a lifetime of photos, memories and things. We found ourselves in a constant state of moving things from one state to another state. Rob fortunately was able to keep many things and take them to our Florida home. Change continued with Justin meeting Cassie and Cassie moving to Rowlesburg. Although we gained a family member with Cassie, we also had great loss with Derek and my Uncle Jim. Change has also come to our family with the aging of my Mom and Dad and that slow but reversal of roles.  Sometimes I just need it to get a little more warning, a little time to prepare, a chance to take a breath before the next thing hits the fan. Life isn't like that though, it sneaks up on you while you are planning and implementing and ironing out those final details of your weekend.  I don't plan as much anymore and maybe it has to do with aging and maturity but I now know at anytime what you have planned and what life has in store are two totally different things. For now, I'm just trying to get through the rest of the day.

6 days until the Twin's Birthday

OK it is only 6 days until David's birthday and mine, too.  I will take this chance to clear up some common misconceptions.  One, we have the same birthday.  This week end someone asked me why David gets presents on my birthday. Although, I've wondered the same thing at times, it is his birthday, also.  Two, we are fraternal twins, I repeat, FRATERNAL TWINS.  David is a boy and I am a girl. My doctor even asked me once if we were identical of fraternal.  I, at that point asked him what medical school he went to.  To be identical twins, one egg splits, which means all your parts, and I MEAN ALL,  are identical. I think our spouses will vouch for the fact that we are not identical.  Now for a few other not so noticeable differences.  I am nice.  David is not.  I can read.  David can, but doesn't.  David ate baby food for years.  I ate real food.  David was and is still irresponsible.  I had to carry his milk money to school because Mom didn't trust him. David thinks eggs, sausage, and toast is a healthy breakfast. All must be fried and dripping in grease. I've always preferred cereal for breakfast. I was always quiet and shy as a child.  David always wanted to be the center of attention. I am the good twin. David is not. I always kept my room clean. David doesn't understand one principal of organization.  OK, so we are alike in a few ways.  We are both sarcastic, love kids, teach 4th grade, cheer for the underdog, make each other laugh to the point we use to spit milk across the table at each other, love our families, love God, and especially love each other.  But David, please don't forget my birthday this year.

"What If God Was One of Us"

What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home

If God had a face what would it look like?
And would you want to see
If seeing meant that
you would have to believe
in things like heaven and in Jesus and the saints
and all the prophets (*)          
"One of Us" by Joan Osborne is one of my favorite songs and  I'm always humbled when listening to it.  I don't know how anyone can listen to that song and not think about how they go through the day and react, respond and treat people. Although I always liked this song, it took on special meaning for me about four years ago.  It was class selection list time at school and I stood in the hallway with a group of teachers all refusing to accept a student in their classroom. The scene, to this day, reminds me how cruel and self righteous people can be at times.  I thought the entire situation was ridiculous and sad and said I would take the student. So, although the year was not easy for me, it became a life changing year.  I never looked at myself or anyone the same after that. Joan Osborne's song became a mantra for me. "What If God Was One of Us?"  What if that little boy was God? What if God had transformed himself for that very moment and was looking at all of us from the little boy's eyes? What was God seeing and hearing?  What did he think of us? I watch how others react to people they think are lessor than them and I would love at times to walk up to them and say "What if God is One of Us?"  Do we know for sure he isn't at least part of the time?  Did he not instruct us about how to treat those we felt were lesser than us?  And the King shall answer and say to them," Truly I say to you, Inasmuch as you have done it to one of the least of these my brothers, you have done it to me".  I fell in love with the little boy and he perhaps was more of a blessing for me than I for him. Although, challenging as he was, discussed the fact with other people, that I think God puts people in our lives at certain times and if we are opened enough to accept them they can possibly work a few miracles in our lives.  I think many times people miss out on spiritual growth and miracles because they are staring God in the eyes and are too judgmental to realize it.  Maybe I'm wrong but I really don't think God appears on earth very often as a beauty queen, a reclusive billionaire, or a movie star. I just don't think that is his style.  I could be wrong because I really think that was the reoccurring theme in the song. "What If God Was One of Us" because none of us really know. And just what if .....................