Let Me Get Through Today

Rob asked me tonight what I wanted to do on Sunday.  Maybe I am getting old or maybe just wise but my answer was ...... "just let me get through today first."  I use to make elaborate plans stretching far into the future, not any more. As time goes on, I have found that "shit happens" and fast. Some things are good but some things stop you in your tracks and make you rethink everything about your elaborate plans for the future. This past year and half have been difficult for Rob and I and many days we have had that feeling that things are happening and way too fast. Those things that make you stop in your tracks and rethink and re-plan everything you had on your agenda. From Rob's Dad passing away unexpectedly to trying to make any sense of Derek's violent death, you are forced to stop, regroup, gather your thoughts and evaluate what is really important. Watching our parents age, Justin grow up, and relatives passing, we have come to that point of realizing the time does not stand still and there are no grantees. So with Mothers Day approaching, my parents 60th Anniversary on Saturday and the twins' birthday, I had to pause for just a moment and respond to Rob with "just let me get through today."  I told Rob last night that everything had moved to fast the last year and a half. Overnight, it seemed like we had to dismantle and sell his parents home, finding ourselves sifting through a lifetime of photos, memories and things. We found ourselves in a constant state of moving things from one state to another state. Rob fortunately was able to keep many things and take them to our Florida home. Change continued with Justin meeting Cassie and Cassie moving to Rowlesburg. Although we gained a family member with Cassie, we also had great loss with Derek and my Uncle Jim. Change has also come to our family with the aging of my Mom and Dad and that slow but reversal of roles.  Sometimes I just need it to get a little more warning, a little time to prepare, a chance to take a breath before the next thing hits the fan. Life isn't like that though, it sneaks up on you while you are planning and implementing and ironing out those final details of your weekend.  I don't plan as much anymore and maybe it has to do with aging and maturity but I now know at anytime what you have planned and what life has in store are two totally different things. For now, I'm just trying to get through the rest of the day.