crazy, stupid, ....

Someone at school today told me to go home and write something on my blog tonight. I'm glad that everyone finds my life so amusing. I actually thought for a second that maybe I'll run out of things to say or write about but I don't think that is going to happen because honestly, crazy, stupid, shit just always seems to happen to me, or around me. For example, the 4th grade was testing today and the test was being given by professional testers but we had to stay in the room. I thought near the end of testing, OK this went reasonably well. At precisely that moment one of my boys raised his hand and ask the tester if she wanted her pencils back because that kid over there just ate his. That is pretty much how my life has gone. Just when you think it is safe to go back into the water some stupid, crazy shark comes by and takes a nice big bite out of your behind. That is probably why I am always so tired. It is subzero outside and I hate to be cold.  It is because I spend my days trying to educate nine year olds who have no desire to be educated. It is because Justin decided we needed to spend half the night at the cell phone store because he needed the latest greatest cell phone. Then it dawned on me that I'm tired because of the 52 years of dumb, crazy, shit I've done with my crazy ass friends and family. I mean these are people who teachers dreaded, cops told to go in for the night so they could get some sleep, and parents thought would never grow up. It is tiring to keep up with people like this. I was usually the innocent bystander but it took a toll. I tried to talk these people out of doing the crazy things they did, but like now in  my life no one would listen. Believe me, it was not me who caught the backseat of the car on fire.  It was not me who thought Jack Daniels would taste good in a milkshake. It was not me who stuck pencils up their nose in biology class. It was not me who spiked the punch at the seventh grade dance. It was not me who conducted the lobotomy on the chicken in advanced biology class. It was not me who thought that Mom and Dad will never find out. It was not me who thought it was a great idea to call the Principal and say HI on skip day.  Yes, I was there but these things were not my idea.