You've Got A Friend

Most of you know that my life has been hell for close to two years but one discovery I did make during this time is how much I love and missed writing. I had to give it all up, the facebook, the blog, chatting and talking on the phone. The only outlet I had was e-mailing my shrink, Dr, Nickell who basically told me that my life sucked and "No, everyone doesn't have a life like yours." I'm not sure if  that was suppose to make me feel better or worse. I definitely wouldn't advise anyone to try my life. My new neighbor in Ormond said to me today while I was once again pretending I was Marilyn Monroe in Mary's pool, "you find out who your true friends are don't you." Yes, Cassie, I know Marilyn Monroe is dead. You told me that yesterday, but I play the part so well that I can't resist. Anyway, you do find out who your true friends are and you find out who "in boxed" their facebook friends and "celebrated" your great misfortune and pain. So why do people do that? What is even more frustrating is some of those people post scripture on facebook everyday and talk incessantly about praying for everyone. Thus my facebook post (which offended some people) about "fake" Christians and then some other people totally didn't get that post and I offended them. First and foremost, if you don't like sarcasm, STOP READING NOW. I'm sorry I can't help myself. This stuff just flows out of my mind and mouth. Therapy doesn't help because my shrink is sarcastic. I had 30 years of teaching to practice lecturing people and fine tuning my sarcasm. So back to my original thought and observation. Why do people like my negative posts, lectures, sarcasm, complaining and whining better than say the positive. lighter, nicer, friendly posts? I think it is because they are REAL. Life sucks sometimes. In my case, it has sucked a lot lately. I mean when your shrink tells you that your life sucks, it sucks. It got so bad he started telling me to try and just get through a day. During therapy one day, I asked him if it could can any worse. He looked and me and said, "Yes". He was right. It did. The good thing is, I survived, Rob survived, and Justin and Cassie survived. Things have changed for all of us but life goes on. During this time, many of my friends also had battles to fight, lost people they loved, and experienced things they would have rather not but life is like that. There were days I couldn't drag myself out of bed. Days Julie thought she needed to be on suicide watch. Phone calls from Mary to make sure "everything was OK". I had friends like Janice and Flicky who sat up with me on nights and talked and listened. Barb, who constantly prayed for me and with me. Margaret called and would make me laugh. Robin and Jane came for visits. Lisa stuck by me. Susan helped out. Nesha, who distracted me with her "neediness" was always there. So you do find out who your real friends are when something like this happens. They don't judge, they don't try to give advice. They listen, they check to see if you are breathing, they hold your hand in church and pray with you. True friends are like the song says "just call out my name and I'll be there." So if you need something to think about tonight. Think about friendship. What kind of friend are you? A true friend? An "in box" your other "friends" to celebrate another "friend's" demise. Life can be brutal. If you are going to call yourself a friend to another, don't use the term loosely. Be ready to stay up all night, go on suicide watch, and pray like there is no tomorrow.