Takes a Whole Lot of Tacky

It takes a whole lot of tacky to be noticed in this old river town. In Rockefeller Park I can walk around with my halo of flowers and no one seems to notice because this is the kind of place where you can see tye dyed beside taffeta or cowboy boots standing beside flip flops. I was in my backyard the other morning when one of the town policemen showed up to serve warrants on a couple of the neighborhood kids.  He didn't even seem to notice the "get up" I had on while watering my plastic flamingos and hibiscus plant.  He stayed for awhile and chatted and gave me his card when he left and said "call me if you need anything." I can even wear my "slut" clothes here. There is no one who likes "slut" clothes more than me, except for Julie. I wore one of my "slut" shirts to an appointment with my shrink one day.  I don't think he was impressed.  Actually, he kind of said in a nice way, "Why in the hell are you dressed like that?"  I tried to explain to him that maybe I looked  a little out of place in a corner office, on the 8th floor, city office but believe me I go unnoticed in the old river town in my " slut" clothes, where it takes a whole lot tacky to even get notice.  Nicole and Nesha actually like my dollar store jewelry and accessory "get-ups" when I stroll into their store to be a living model  I mean this is a place where even I have asked on occasion, "Is that crotchless underwear or a skirt?" Back to my shrink,  I think he tried to be diplomatic, as to not further injure my fragile ego, when he asked about my "slut" top, which I still have, like and wear.  Now, back to Julie,  Julie and I dressed like "hookers" when we went to the Ma Donna concert in DC a few years ago. The gay guys we sat with thought it was cool that we were teachers and dressed like hookers at a Ma Donna concert.  I was OK with the evening until Julie wanted to go for a late night walk down by the capitol building.  I was afraid if we got picked up for being hookers it might be kind of difficult to explain to Rob and Mark.  We aren't teachers any more.  Anyway, no one seems to care either when I take out the trash in my Tinker Bell pajamas or do laundry wearing a beach cover up/night gown/or what ever else I want to wear my "pink-little-number" for.  Even my friends, who visit, like that you can go to Food-lion in a bathing suit here, a wet one, at that.  Living here saves on laundry because "tacky" doesn't require high maintenance and many days I go from pajamas to bathing suit and back again before dinner and bed.  I spend lots of time to get just that perfect "tacky" look. My shrink thinks my clothes are making a statement.  You think??????